Thursday, 31 December 2009

Saw a 'Whirly Bird', i liked, and i bought it!!!

Photos are of Kalgoorlie

Last daze in Kuala Lumpor, i went shopping, it's very addictive there, especially coz you know you paying about a quarter of the cost in Australia, the more you spend, the more you save!!!

Mooi dropped me off at the Metro at a shopping centre and off i went.

I couldn't resist buying a helicopter 'Whirly Bird' to some, the guy who eventually broke it, owns more than 5 million in heavy machinery in Kalgoorlie, and do you thing he's fix it or replace it?

So the night before flying to Oz, i didn't sleep a wink, i kept thinking, if i miss that flight, I'll be screwed, so i got up early, Moi drove me to Sentral to get the train and insisted on paying for my ticket too, i had money, but she insisted, so with the money she saved me, i ended up buying a bottle of Vodka, exactly the thing i didn't want to do, but who am i to complain?

Oh yeah, i made it back to Perth, over the line, hip hip hurrah!!!

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Mooi and me

The wonderful sleep mask in operation

So off i trotted to
Sentral (spelled with an 'S') to meet a local couch surfer (her first time) and it couldn't have been better.

But first......
One of the morning's i woke up on the couch, there was plenty of people about and i'm sure my male appendage might have been doing an impression of one of the famous Kuala Twin towers, which tower is any ones guess?

And then everyone left the room and as my friend Gen would tell it, 'When i woke up, the first thing i saw in front of me was from Kieran and he said, Gen i think i had a mad erection when i woke up and all those people were around me', another moment to file away under 'Funniest moments of 2009', indeed.

So back to Mooi, we went out for dinner, Chinese, many dishes, had a great sleep in the spare room later, i was due a sleep and sleep i did, the next day we went for breakfast near the Botanic garden (in front of the cop shop), a good place for a cop shop, not too many criminals hang out there, ever, I'd bet!

We went to the worlds largest Avery, we saw the bird show, Mooi has seen it 4 or 5 times, 40 Rms for me, 12 Rms or a local...hmmmm?

Later when we when we got back, we went out again for massages, 1.5 hour ones.

Since Mooi paid for 10, she got 1 for free, i got that one, she did tell me in advance the massage parlor was 'Hanky Panky' free, it would appear all the other massage places, come 'Hanky Panky' installed, but not there, this was the foreigner area, later lots of great food (i paid) and that was the last thing i could pay for.

Hello Ducky

Excellent day, excellent massage.

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Fun and snap

Photos are from my Aunties balcony in Kalgoorlie

A wise (wo)man once said.....
In ev'ry job that must be done
There is an element of fun
you find the fun and snap!
The job's a game

-Mary Poppins

Saw a good T-Shirt the other day 'Jesus loves you, but i still think your a cunt', god i would have loves to have been a small body (in Parts) so i could wear it!!

So i switched couch surfers and here's what happened.........

But first, let me tell you about the night before, and the one before that, the day (night, part of), so i was coming home from the city to my CS hosts place and just as i was passing the Indian restaurant that never sleeps, i stopped to watch the soccer and ten another game was on and then, it was 3.30am, where the time went, i do not know, i now have a Paul Frank watch, (i cant believe it's not the real thing) with a Monkey on it, that's a bit slow (the watch) to counter balance this phenomena.

So after getting some sleep, with the aid of my sleep mask, (the best thing ever invented, I'm prone to thinking, especially) after getting sleep in daylight.

I arose at 3.30pm and then it was night time, and there was nothing for it only go and watch more soccer, so off i went.

So to sum it all up, i drank 4 ice coffees (got charged for 1) and went back to sleep , couldn't find sleep, so around 7.30am, i went to get more coffee, then back for a shower, then more shopping in, guess where? Times square!!!

I saw a moo moo movie, A Christmas Carol, in what seemed like a converted meat freezer (this is what it felt like) and just before i hit the point where i couldn't take my balls getting any colder, the movie ended , a bit of rushed ending, i did not care, i did not want to be next weeks 100% Irish beef on special.

So, back i went to get a sleep (this was wishful thinking) and off i went to meet CS host number 2 in Kuala Lumpor, great success!!!

Monday, 28 December 2009

Couchsurfing KL...for the lack of a better name

I sent out requests and the one i took up was from Mildas boyfriend, he said, 'We're always doing crazy stuff or just chilling', he was heading overseas, but to send his girlfriend a msg, this i did, how right, the first night he was!

So the first night i get there, they were off to do a Murial on a wall on the abandoned prison (next to Times square) and nearly got caught, since i have to be on a flight soon , i wasn't taking any chances, but after shopping twice in Times Square shopping centre, i saw the Murial on the way back 9after taking the right train, the wrong way).

Now after chilling enough daze, today after more shopping i will be switching couch surfers to get to know Malay's instead of Europeans.

But first some interesting stuff....

Indians come here to Malaysia on 5 year contracts (and as far as i can see, they work their asses off), for what I'd wonder, but everyone gets along, Indian, Chinese, Malay, no problems at all, so someones doing something right here, maybe it's god, or maybe the president was really good and Santa gave him what he wanted, a country where everybody lives in harmony (and maybe some sing along with the chorus), maybe?

They play Muslim prayers in Indian restaurants? Holy sheet!!!

Sunday, 27 December 2009

Can you phone number, i massage for you?

Photos are from Kuala Lumpor

'Can you phone number, i massage for you?', is probably not what you want to hear, coming out of a toilet in an Indian restaurant, from a Malay gay guy.

All that water and no beer is doing me wonders i know, but this is going too far, maybe too much, too soon?
I was feeling a change, but some guy rubbing your chest wasn't the feeling i wanted, but it was what i got and was quickly brushed off.

So let me tell you about 'Dr Fish', hundreds of little fish, exfoliating your feet
It looks like this

I had it a few times, one of the times i upgraded to the De-Luxe package and had a foot massage from an old woman and a back and neck massage from a guy that later asked me if i was Mafia, so all this combined with shopping = 'Not a bad night in Kuala Lumpor'............and other good stuff too, but that was much later, and thats another story.
So did i tell you i went shopping with Gen? One of her user names is 'Genetelia'.

So i went shopping in my favourite shopping centre, Times square, with my minority, Malay, colored, single (sometimes), friend (that's a girl), 'Gen' (not to be confused with the other kind) and we were passing one stall that sold belts, and for a laugh i asked the guy if i could try a belt, he was all sure, sure.

So i start beating Gen's ass with the belt, she was all 'Oh, yeah, that feels good', got the guy down 50% in price and ended up buying it (after walking away), what a laugh, he wanted to sell this belt for his 'Lucky first sale', oh how we laughed walking away!!!!!!

Friday, 25 December 2009

Charles Mingus

My buddys Andy and Kirsten have a cat called 'Mingus' names after a guy called 'Charles Mingus' he wrote an autobiography called "Beneath the underdog", 'that you would love', or so i was told.

But, here's a synopsis

Thats all you get for today, what were you expecting?

I’m leaving gay Pari

Photo's are from the worlds largest Avery in Kuala Lumpor

So I nearly didn’t get on my flight to Malaysia from Paris, not through my own fault, but I’m sure I could have gone to see the Pyramids instead, hello King Tut, remember me?

As we all know, since some building that fell down in Manhattan life is becoming more and more difficult, every where in the world.
Malaysian airways are introducing metal knives next year so people can butter their bread properly, wow!!! They are plain crazy!!!


So I check in and they want to see my onward bound ticket for Perth, I tell them I have one and after much conversation of people ‘Just doing their job’, I have to go find an Internet terminal, Air France were ‘Scared’ I might like Malaysia too much and they would get fined and maybe a slap on the wrist.

Just as I’m cursing them the ‘Air France Supervisor’, gives me her business card, not in an Amorous, call me sometime, this was after all her place of business, so I emailed my ticked to her, she prints it off and I’m back in business, an international disaster has been diverted, off I go and i went.

And then some random Nigerians enter the fray.
So, while waiting, I meet some Nigerian guys, pretty cool guys, I like them, one was very Muslim and another guy was all dressed up in a suit and sunglasses.

An English guy that did events started talking to us, he told the guy in the suit he had many gods, Christian, Muslim, Buddist. Mr Shades kept telling me he was a Christian, and he was since he was 6 inches high (probably the same size as his dad’s cock, things are different in Africa, I believe), how he could remember all this, boggles me, a regular grouping of usual suspects.

Thursday, 24 December 2009

I was talking to a French guy..............

Photos are from Paris...yea dummy!!

So............I was talking to a French guy (that was fond of every lady that passed) waiting for the plane, I was blowing my nose, he asked me if I was sick, I said it was just swine flu, he nearly jumped the barricade!!!

I said ‘Where are you from, America?’, he didn’t find that funny, and that was funny, coz, I thought it was hilarious., he reminded me of my buddy Gustavo from Porta Seguro in Bahia, Brazil, a classic.

The English guy that did events told me he would book Ricky Gervais to do half hour after dinner speeches, for this Ricky’s bank account would increase by 20k pounds, but Ricky didn’t care abut speeches, the guy told him he could get him more (probably in English, after all, they ‘invented’ that language, those crazy English), but, Ricky says ‘No’, he has no interest, does he ever get hungry?
Maybe he could go for a free feed and show his face and slip out the back before the desert is served?

A few weeks ago, some guys tried to steal 200k from Ricky’s account (or 5 hours of after dinner speeches, conversation is still chap, sometimes that’s all I have, buddy can you lend me a dime?)
The would be thieves used a photo from DVD of ‘The office’, the plot was foiled since he’s about the most recognisable guy in England, they had no hope, no one told tham!!!

He told me if Rick lost all his money all he would have to do is a couple of speeches and he’s be off again, fair enough? But when you have that many 0 in your bank account, whats another 0, it’s not like he wants to be Jay Z?

Wednesday, 23 December 2009

The old hookers are militarising the cant be serious?

Videos were suggestions by Guillaume

Couchsurfer Guillaume's buddy Germain started to tell me tales about Paris that you wont be reading in any Lonely Planet

One of the things he told me was the 3 ways to get a hooker in Paris and it was funny, because i really didn't want to know, the more i didn't want to know, the more i learnt, i think he realy needed to tell someone, so he told me.

Germain told me the cops respect the old hookers and dont arrest them, although they could.

In some areas (China town) there are girls on the street, not dressed as hookers, but are hookers, but they dont say anything to you, you have to ask them

Then there are web sites.

Now, the eastern european hookers are moving in and the Chinese and eastern european hookers are having turf wars, now the old hookers are coming in and militarising the whole place (he used the word militarising, which made me laugh!!), so the cops dont come in and arrest them too.

Later we went to Germains office for coffee, cool office, i was drinking milk as i went in the door when the shutters came up and the alarm goes off.

He apparently said 'Dont go in yet' and all i can gather is i cant hear while i'm drinking...milk.

Germain showed me a FAX he got with sex chat lines (stuck up opposite the sexual harrasment information poster)

Titles included 'Do you like to touch yourself?', 'Want to hear girls have orgasams?', 'How do you please a girl that likes girls?'.

Very funny

Mano Negro, pre Manu chao

All in all, a top day!!!

Cargo 92 tour of South America

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Becomng a local in Paris

So i run into Stephen, from a few nights before, he's working for French TV, in the mornings, so he needs to arise from his slumber at 4am, and we had a few drinks, before we parted he helped plan my metro route back to my hostel to get my bag and go to the other side of the city to meet my couch surfer for that night (Saturday) and all the hostels were very expencive (about 29 euro) and all booked up, so it was important to go where i was going.

Stephens old band Vatican DC
Stepthen is the singer

So i met up with Couchsurfer Guillaume, did a bit of food shopping, had a bite to eat and then we were off out to meet his buddy, ex DJ now a software developer, we had a glass of wine by the Canal in St Denis (they shot the movie Amelie there too, skimming stones scene), lots of nice girls in the restaurant, this is why we were there, i found out.

Monday, 21 December 2009

Amelies Paris, yeah baby, yeah!!!!

On Saturday, i walked over to Montmartre, as it turns out, thats where they filmed the movie Amelie.

Know it?

So now it's Sunday, i'm going back, but first i think i'll indulge in a little glass of wine before i tackle the hill, good thinking, me thinks (and the thinking stops there)

So yesterday, after checking out Montmartre, i went to check out the Moulin Rouge, just to say i was there, the movie was one of hte biggest loads of shite ever and all it's done it multiply the hatred in me for Nicole Kidman.

Up further, there are lots of strip shows, some rank chick tried to pull me into a strip show for a lap dance, strip show, massage, then sex was on offer, i kept walking.

Got back to an Irish pub called Mc Brides 3 blocks down from the oldest hookers i have ever seen to watch Ireland beat south Africa, then, who do i meet but Stephen from the other night, i was starting to feel like a local!!!

Sunday, 20 December 2009

Amazing Paris

Ok so, the first night i stayed with Ahmed from Tunisia, 2nd + 3rd night with Teddy

So i spent my days walking all over Paris, the Patheon, St Germain (Beautiful shopping streets)
The 3rd day i walked over to the Eiffel tower, spent ages looking for asian food, so i kept walking and ended up on the bottom left side of the city (a long way).

Then i got back to see the Eiffel tower,then over to Emperor Napoleon's Arc de Triomphe, i had Escargot (snails to you), i walked and walked, the, the Champs-Élysées was all lit up for Christmas, beautiful!!!

Best european city i have been to? I think so!!!!!!!!!

Called into an Irish pub, was talking to a local, he told me A LOT of people in Paris have Irish parents or relatives, and up the road they have the oldest hookers i have ever seen, the oldest, some of them must of been 70, standing in doorways, the next neighbour hood was lots of Turkish people.

Note from the previous night
I know i'm not gay because a guy told me to 'Act gay and you can get free drinks', i'm not much of an actor either, is this a positive thing?

Saturday, 19 December 2009

Paris at a glance

Well, as you know, i went to Paris, and one of the couchsurfers brought me to a club, for men, men that like other men (A LOT)
And i made some casual observations, so here goes.

It interesting to see that Parisian gay guys and guys that work for the county councils all over Ireland are very similar, 1 guy does all the work, 3 guys watch, then he has a break and someone else takes over for a while and then someone jumps in and one guy is coming and another Guy is going.

Maybe it's something to do with the unions or something?

Getting in the way

My couchsurfer Teddy, did warn me about the place, i told him I've seen everything, nothing would surprise me, i was very surprised, very, upstairs there was a guy with his tongue in some guys ass, the guy was having a beer like nothing was going on and he was minding his own business, which he was, it was so ridiculous, you could laugh and to divert my attention i looked up to see the TV and would you believe it, there was gay porn on, 2 guys doing things you cant imagine, with another watching in the distance....whacking himself off.

Anything you can do, i can do better

Anyways, i think i can now say, i have seen it all, what else would there be to do?

Gay Pari, you were a good teacher :)

Pierre Puget Milon de Crotone, from the Lourve
Is this guy being sexually harrased, is it a gay lion, or is it the Parisian way?

Friday, 18 December 2009

Things that go bump in the night, in er...Belfast?

Photos are from the worlds largest avery in KL (except for the last pic)

So i convinced the Canadian from Vancouver and his Aussie from Victoria to go and rent a car and they ended up giving me a spin into Belfast city (lovley), win, win for everybody.

So i checked out the 'Bar of the year', 'Murials', very like some out of the way bar in Melbourne, but in Belfast, lots of photos with vintage seats, cool!

I had a great sleep in the dorm of Archies backpackers (felt like someones house...Archies), i didn't even mind the crazy Scottish guy, i think he just took too much Acid in his youth, i asked him how his day was, he said 'I'll find out later', later came and as i was going into the dorm he on the ground with Tarot cards and he said 'Damn!', this must of been his answer!!!

So he was in a top bunk bed with all his stuff on it, he was on the edge of the bed (with a low celing), and of course, in and out all night, he woke the Aussie guy below him at 4am to try and get the eye drops he thought he dropped.

So lights on and off (turned off by someone else after he went out), it was so bizzare, it was laughable, but it happened, i didn't mind, i got a great sleep, everyone else did mind and he must of gotten kicked out the next night.

Alarm bells did ring in my head when he wanted to pay by cheque when he checked in, is good and it is going to get better and better, Paris next week, 6 whole daze!!!

Boston, 2007 world series

Thursday, 17 December 2009

Belfast, the first night

I went looking for some photos that meant something, but why bother? I found these photos that perfectly summed up something, that couldn't be written, or something?

I cant believe it's not the Virgin Mary!!

Well, hello there, it's been a long time, been a long time....thanks Robert Plant, i'll take it from here.

Hello, it's been about a month (maybe 6 weeks, but let us continue, i've taken notes :) !!!)
So anyways this is from Belfast................
So i check into my favourite hostel, Archies, near Queens University (and only one i know in Belfast) and verbal intercourse takes place (no other kind will do sometimes!!)
I'm out walking and calling into a few bars and i go back to the hostel to round up a possy for the cinema.

So i say 'Lets go to see a movie'
One guy says 'Sorry man, we're planning a trip'
Me (laughing): 'The Canadians are planning a trip and the Germans are playing cards!'
German chick 'I work here, and i can kick you out'
Me: 'I know!!!'

But i can never help upsetting a German, was it the war? I just dont know?

Very holy guy (and cool)

At the same hostel, i met a guy from Montreal (with tattoos) and the conversation went to tattoos and would you believe it (some yes, others no), he knows my tattoo artist (Mr Rockabilly from Montreal) in Slick Styled steel and his crazy friend, with tattoos of his Nintendo controller, he told me about the crazy guy's new tattoo, it's some kind of street fighter Matrix fight sequence.

This i believe, the crazy guy was telling me his girlfriend (that had his kids with) could never leave him, he pays the gas, she pays the electricity, they cannot live without each other, it was funnier the way he put it, it was more like they were desperate for each other' :)

Oh, someting from when i was a lad....or just in Cork (recently)

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Things have gone to the dogs!

Colhie and Sneachta

Sneachta the pedigree, his stud fees might be high, he wont be winning any races, not unless the prize is meat

Clodagh's Halloween spell
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