Thursday, 5 August 2010

What's the difference between Opera and Ballet and Porn?

Well, I went to see 'Swan lake on ice' recently, and it was fantastic, so good in fact, the only thing I was thinking of at one point was going on the net and taking a peek at, that good, yes it was.

But back to the title of this little story, you see if you've ever watched porn (I’m not allowed to watch that stuff, according to my mom and my work too, but someone once told me all about it, it never occurs to me to watch porn anyways, it's obvious to other's, always other's, not me, but on the upside, how many of the same other's would be bothered doing this....and this......and maybe this? Not many.

So let us continue, you see it occurred to me watching Swan Lake , after the Russian brides episode faded, that the story line didn't make much sense, Opera's either, the story line is always some crazy story line, the crazier the better, 'I love you when your crazy because you wont remember me when you are sane' comes to mind?

 It's not about the story, it never is, just like porn, who cares about the story, it's a means to an end, when there is some what of a story, people might call it art, but a 3 year old might draw all over the newly painted wall in your sitting room, that could be art too and then they might prance off to the TV and be mesmerised by what ever is on the box, are you dealing with a child prodigy or a terrorist sleeper cell, that sleeps more that you do, but not the hours that you do?

The worst movie i have seen in a long time

Let us continue, with the bad story line bit, I saw a movie on Monday as part of the monthly 'Splodge' movie night called 'MISSION: MONTE CARLO (1974)', starring Rodger Moore and I can safely say, it was the worst movie I have seen in a long time, with the worst acting made by people that were obviously taking too many drugs, in fact I love to take what ever the guy that wrote the screen play took, it must be good stuff indeed. How they let Rodger to play the part of James Bond after doing that is anyone’s guess?

It was so bad in fact, I knew I had to watch it, right to the end, or else I would waste precious moments of my future life pondering how it ended, maybe on my death bed? And I’ve already discussed what I want to say on my death bed, or if I have a look on me when I die, that says.
'He must have been with that 24 year old cocktail waitress'
 That plan of living fast, curbing my ways when i'm old, finding god, repenting, only just before i keel over, is out the window too, a life time of respectability, gone, but it would be worth it i'm thinking?
So I stayed to the end of the movie and I ran away home, to try and forget about it.

Now if someone tells me that they saw a bad movie, I will be able to correct them and say, 'No you didn't', that was a good movie in comparison, after all the story line made sense and there was a nice table and chair in the background in scene 2', that was a good movie, let me tell you about a bad movie.

Now the only question that is probing this mind of mine is, 'When are they making a Ballet or Opera about this 'MISSION: MONTE CARLO, Rodger Moore' movie, after all it meets all the criteria you need'? A story that makes no sense, none of it fits, plenty of action, and a big fanfare at the end, good triumphs evil!

A google search of 'Opera storylines' returns 'soap opera results', and they are even worse, dont get me started, i'll just stop here, thank you.

Here's what the internet says about the movie 'MISSION: MONTE CARLO':

Lord Brett Sinclair (ROGER MOORE) and billionaire playboy Danny Wilde (TONY CURTIS) are friendly rivals who happen to solve crimes together, usually under the watchful guidance of a Judge Fulton (LAURENCE NAISMITH). Whilst on holiday in Monte Carlo, the body of a young girl (SUSAN GEORGE) is discovered in the sea. Sinclair and Wilde trace the dead girl's final steps; stumbling across millionaire businessman Koestler (John Phillips), his wife Lisa (MELISSA STRIBLING), and high strung executive assistant Crane (Terence Alexander). The trail leads to a plot to smuggle stolen gold - disguised as counterfeit coins - out of Europe.

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