Friday, 20 August 2010

Who were the first boat people?

So, maybe I got the idea for this from the story I did entitled 'Who were the first stoners?' Maybe this might turn into a series?

Introducing Tony

Wanna be-a-queen-bee-Prime-Minister, one Mr Tony Abbott of course, is making some good promises, but, 'Word's can be lies and lies are no good when there's tears in your eyes' as a Mr Phil Lynnott would have said, but more importantly, what would Phil Lynnott say if he laid eyes on Mr Abbott's Speedos.

Introducing Phil

Does Mr Abbott have a pair of leather pants? He certainly has the cut for budgie smugglers, as we all know, I know what your thinking, 'Leather budgies'?

But down to business...
There will be many tear drenched eyes if Tony win's the election, the man of god Tony will wreak havoc on the high seas for the people escaping miserable existences

Tony Abbott wants to 'Stop the boat people', fair enough you think? But, why? If you come to an isolated continent, in a leaky boat, shouldn't you be given a medal?

Kids today I seems have mummy driving them everywhere, are wrapped in cotton wool and cant get on a tram by them selves, wouldn't refugees kids bailing water on the high seas with a plastic cup be encouragement for kids, 'Keep bailing water or we're all dead kid', at least you'd know you were alive, until death comes knocking.

Refugee boat people are not coming to steal all your gold, rape, pillage, steal your beautiful women as the Vikings pillaged and maimed Ireland and the list goes on, but first let me explain.

A Viking

Well, let me tell you this Australia, speaking as a European of course, when it comes to boat people, people smugglers and budgie smugglers (see Mr Abbott above), Australia gets off too easy.

From about 550 AD till the battle of Hastings in 1066, a band of bearded fellows, unlike ZZ Top, the Vikings roamed Europe, they went everywhere, from Russia to (a not so Europe) America, they weren't too well received by the native Indians in the old US of A.

ZZ Top

The Vikings didn't have thunder sticks like the Europeans did when they went there, so the Vikings cut their losses there and headed back to what is now the law abiding EU, such remorse was felt in Denmark a few years ago for all the terrible things they did to us that they officially said 'Sorry', which was very nice, but all I want is all the beautiful women they stole, back, they can keep the gold.

Round towers, one of many all over the coast of Ireland
Now when the Vikings rolled into town, they did a bit of raping and pillaging, like a regular day St Kilda football team, this is why monks built round towers all over Ireland, in Australia, mobile phone companies are building towers, but this is not to safeguard valuable religious and historic icons of any sort, but I like the idea. But we did get a 'Sorry' after about 500 years of this hostile Viking treatment, so who are we to complain? They are sorry now, it's all kiss and make up now.

But to be fair, a Danish rapist (Eric Van Der White) did found what’s now know as Dublin, it's a little known fact and you wont hear too many people talk about it either, they settled all over the west coast, Wexford and Waterford and now they are nice places, so there is hope for St Kilda yet, maybe I’ll live there some time, in about 500 years or so, if it's still possible and affordable, I won't hold my breath.

Viking boat

So if your to blame anyone Australia for boat people, blame the Danish, they started it all, in fact they gave the English the idea of building boats, until the battle of Hastings, the English didn't have a navy, the Vikings took a beating in the battle of Hastings and found god, realised their time was up and headed back to Dublin and Roskilde in Denmark with a bit of 'row row, row your boat' magic.

The Vikings converted to Christianity and lived happily ever after, waiting for Jesus to come back, they’re still waiting in fact. They did prepare for an attack for foreign forces, by sinking ships in the port in Roskilder, so only locals knew how to navigate the way home, and not hate filled revenge seeking foreigners wanting their sisters back, after all it's what you'd expect, but maybe they didn't have any 'Karma' in those daze and they were left alone to prey, Amen to that.

At the Battle of Clontarf, didn't a retreating Viking chop of the head of the high king of Ireland, Brian Boru as he said his prayers to the same god, where is the Karma for the Danish?

If the Vikings wernen't bad enough, enter stage left England, starving and killing Irish must have become such a bore, plus England got kicked out of America, boo hoo, the mighty English lion, lick your wounds after those Christians, where to next? Britania rule the world wasn't excatly working out to plan.

Now the English towards the end of persecuting the Irish race, a period that roughly lasted 800 years, though the best thing to do after taking any means we had to feed or provide for ourselves was send us off to Van Diemen’s land, which wasn't a part of the map of Australia in 1954 Olympics, in Australia, if you were looking at an official map at the time. Van Dieman's land is no place for a man, a bit like some streets in Sadam Hussein's Bagdad, Iraq, not on the map, but they very much existed. ht

The only Karma I can think in any of this is, is there is no one now that resembles a Viking in Scandinavia, men in Sweden are more weight conscious that women some pluck their eyebrows, is that the sweet justice, where's the Karma god?

Anyways, I hope the Australian government rectifies this ongoing boat people problem and goes to the source and bans all Danish people, after all, it's all their fault!!!

They inspired the English Empire state of mind Engish and the rest as they say is History, and that's why your all here on this side of the world, in winter time, it's summer time on the other side of the world!!

Summer time in Europe, exciting, eh?

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...