Friday, 24 September 2010

Aussies that want to 'Pull out' of the commonwealth games. Listen to ME!

'Pulling out' is never is never an option, not if you were raised a strict Irish catholic, just like me. To quote Billy Connelly.
'At the point of ejaculation a pack of wild horses could not pull my arse the opposite direction'
Hold on, hold on! What are we on about again? Oh yeah, the games, the games!!

Now, Aussies, pulling out, oh yeah. Ok, you might have heard something in the news, in fact you can hear lots of things in the news, but that is not the point. So what, a bridge fell down? Maybe the bridge was sleepy?

One hell of a sleepy bridge?
A ceiling in a gym fell down, maybe they were in the wrong gym, it never happens in my gym? Maybe the gym ceiling was sleepy, once I fell down, but that time I was drunk, maybe it's something to do with gravity mal-functioning, but we're not in the 'blame game', but digress?

Feeling sleepy Australia, why dont yea have a kip here then?
I think I have it figured out, the 'core' maybe the 'guts' of the problem, now the thing that Aussies have here and they don’t have there in India, is the fact that here in the bathrooms, they have the 'Half flush' and the 'Full flush' on the toilets, in India they have squat toilets, it's a cultural thing I suppose?

Dual flush is what they are used to in Oz

It seems to me that the Aussies are just acting like a bunch of winging poms, they need to grow up a little and try and understand that that.

Could this not be a competition, who can avoid breaking their neck?
I'm sure the athletes do enough 'squats' as part of their training, now they can incorporate this exercise as a part of their bathroom routine, a sort of silver lining in a cloud?

Listen up here Australia

So, no half flush and the water does goes down the other way, is it really such a big deal? It is another hemisphere after all (see pic above)? Can’t they just get over it and move on and be the best they can possibly be, jump higher, run faster and so on and so forth, there will be plenty of Fireworks, everybody will get drunk, people will find love, some in very unlikely places and everybody will be champions! Isn't this what it’s all about? Or maybe not?

The spirit of competition is reflected in the culture here in Australia, a case in point, if you buy someone a beer, you’re a 'Champion', so maybe they do not even need to go to Deli; they just need to go to a pub and buy rounds of beer
Aussie: 'Wanna beer?
Me: Champion!
Now, Breakfast of Champions!!!

And if you've ever read Kurt Vonnagart, the Breakfast of Champions, the Breakfast of Champion is a Martini, maybe dirty? I can’t remember, I did have a few at the time and it was early in the morning, which would be in the Indian Commonwealth games theme.

So don’t be angry with India Australian your already Champions, in my mind!

So, Australia, I’ll see ye down the pub for a few rounds of drinks, maybe on the way home we can call into a Deli, a clean one for a few Dim Sims, mines a ham and cheese roll!!

I can’t wait, let the games begin!!!!

It's all no worries in India, maybe you could learn something people?

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