Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Party at Matt's

So, we made it to 'The party', after meatings and greetings (not the Christmas kind) I did a quick costume change into my $1 garage sale shirt, very flashy and it was down to business.

Since Matt’s last fridge went on fire, I never asked him how or why? Does he do a bit of work on mythbusters?
Is that Matt in the middle?
Did he try and do Jimi Hendrix impressions, but with a fridge as his axe? Maybe that's one of life's little mysteries, I will ponder this until my dying days, in times of trouble or confusion, and I could pause and reflect what would have to happen for a big white metal object containing frozen peas to spontaneously combust?

If Matts last fridge was a guitar, it would be this one

Not to fear, Matt got into the piggy bank and bought a new one, the kind of Fridge you'd expect to be able to check your Facebook, order Pizza hut, watch porn and what ever you'd want to do with a fridge. So, when I had enough of this gadgetry, it was off outside, to the great outdoors, or just Matts back yard to you.
It wasn't so much what happened at the party, the party kicked off AFTER the party, I was asleep, or so it would appear. Matt filled me in.
A taxi pulled up, just when we were going to go to sleep Matt recanted, one chick wanted to go in, the other didn't, one chick was crying. The chick that came in was the life and soul of the party and she filled the room, she was crazy', pity I missed it, I was asleep, the crying chick, just like the little piggy, went we we we, all the way home (we were in the country after all?)
Now this little piggy went to market

And this little piggy stayed at home
And This little piggy had roast beef
and this little piggy had none
This little piggy went We we we!
All the way home.
Another bear you might know
So anyways, I arose from slumber, next to me was a sleeping (and snoring) bear, (yes it appears bears can multi task), a bear in his 30's now, Yogi must me 30 years old too? it's downhill from the 30 years old mark, I left him be and went for a drink.

Now, my next problem was, be sensible and have orange juice or some more of my favourite Vodka and Coke, I was in a strange mood and I went outside to inspect the lay of the land. Drink in hand, I made the right choice, things were looking up.
So I get around the corner of the house and I spot the farmer with a cow in one of those holding pens, the farmer is staring at the cows derrière, my mind says 'I hope he doesn't do what I think he's going to do?' and then BALM, he stuck his whole arm right in, no glove, no lube, no sweet whispers in the ear, where was the love?

Holy cow, Saturday night fevar?

I was thinking the farmer should get a girlfriend, it's was probably like a Saturday night for him, but that’s country living for yea, I guess? And the air was fresh; I can almost smell it again!

Later I notice in another pen, there was 4 bulls in with a cow, it was like a cow nightclub, I told Matt he should start a church and lecture from his balcony, 'Hey cow, you get yourself to church, you hear, you dirty hussy!'
So, what to do, I went on a nature walk, around the garden, now the garden isn't very big, but I think I saw just about everything worth seeing, ants, leaves, I was kicking grass clippings, walking around the lawn, in a circle, an old rusty gate?

Thinking, i could be in Fitzroy drinking a Latte, instead i'm looking at leafs and little plants and watching them drift off in the air. One tree had bark that was strechy skin, like human skin, it was amazing

British Balls

Very amusing way to start the day, everybody was asleep, I had to amuse myself some way, then it was back in again for a drink, have a quick read of British Balls Weekly.

Like this......

You're the hipster who walks into a club, and decides to leave because there's too many hipsters around. Headbands, top hats and fringe jackets ended years ago, and would it kill you to put on some jeans? Tights are not pants, hun.
However your homeless-chic look fits perfectly with Scorpio, which is traditionally a begging moon. You can always make a passerby cough up a few dollars for the "Save the Wales" charity - designed to save the Welsh people from the domination of Rugby in the country.

Introducing.............a little moo cow
And back out again, I did see a cow just about to give birthday, the cow and crew didn't seem too keen on my Vourisim, so I went around the house, to check out the nature around there, by the time I got back there was a little moo cow, sitting in the muck like a little pig. Mamma cow wasn't too keen on me looking on either, anyways I had important things to do, like look at leaves, ants and plants. It was a very interesting day indeed.

Matt told me today over lunch to-day I was in the little cubby house at the bottom of his garden, talking to myself. I had to correct him on that bit, I had so many stories going through my head, I made the decision I would tell them out loud, and talk out loud, to myself, which might sound the same, but it was a decision I made. But maybe from Matt’s window it looked like a different story? Maybe he should change his windows?
Finally we got in the car (on Sunday), Matt driving, I remember saying, 'So where are we going?', Matt seemed astonished, with this, to which he replied, 'I'm driving you to the train station', i thought were going on a magic carper ride.

It would appear I was city bound, I was telling him about the antiques in his garden, on of my profound moments was my definition of antiques.
'With Antiques you can appreciate the past, while looking forward to the future'
Or something like that? But it was really good at the time!!!!
All's well that ends well, I guess?

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