Friday, 29 October 2010

We are all the same, question is, same as what???

Imagine my surprise, when I checked my 'Feed burner' stats yesterday (This is the 'enter-you-email-address-and-i'll-make-little-deposit-in-you-Inbox-in-the-middle-of-the-night-or-depending-on-your-timezone-maybe-daytime?)

Anyways, it seems like your taking to my writings/muses/rants is a bit like bananas being distributed to my work colleagues, and I’ll get to that later.

Well anyways, quite a lot of pee-pol (no pole dancers) have elected to 'take up this service', which would seem to indicate, something is working, something clicked in me or 'them' (that’s you reader, please read this!!)

So, it encouraging, maybe one day I’ll be famous and I’ll have some guy from the Sunday World take pictures of me while I’m in a cubicle, trying to send a friend to the sea, if you get me?

Like this, Amy Winehouse eating food, scandalous!!

So, now bananas and I’ll skip informing you about how one of the worlds biggest banana companies was funding a war in South America, none of that, not now, i'm on a mission here!!

Put on you thinking cap for this bit 

No, what I want to tell you is...Animal behaviourist, listen up. Some say there is a slight difference between monkeys and humans, 1.5 %, but what they wont tell you is this, humans and monkeys are 98.5  SIMILAR (do the math yourself, if you dont believe me)

Where is it most evident? Why the consumption of bananas, they go very rapidly here. One thing I learnt from my time in South America, of all fruit a monkey will eat, it will get the banana first, this is very similar in my place of work, sometimes place of idleness? 

A few software developers, doing a code peer review 

Let me explain, a box of fruit gets delivered in the morning, and people come swinging in from somewhere, it's like a swinger party, they may or may not look for fleas on each other, take all the bananas and disappear (sadly, readers, I’m part of this demographic too) and then it would appear, the thing to do is retreat you your desk and continue with composing works, that Shakespeare would have been envious of.

This is true for 98.5 % of the people I work for, except for one guy. He buys is own bananas, and then he leaves it get  ripe on his desk, so much so, I feel consumed with the desire to have to relieve him of the burden of my consuming ambition to consume, his food of the gods.

I cant see anything here about not eating a banana, that you didn't buy yourself, do you?

Which would make you wonder, obviously this guy is highly evolved, a Charlton Heston of his era?

So, i put this question to the black sheep of our office, 

You might be aware that there is a 1.5% between monkeys and humans?
In my mind there is a 98.5% similarity between these 2 strange species, on this level anyways, both will instinctively eat their banana? 
You on the other hand, seem to be some sort of highly evolved 'new species', undiscovered?
I think in the interests of science, you should submit yourself for testing (please, don't tell them i sent you!!) 

His response was
Hahahaha…  youre right… ive rejected the banana… I should have myself checked out.
I am still throwing my poo though… so…
Not sure how far evolved I actually am.
Question, is where I fit in, in all of this? 
I hope he doesn't call me an ape? I'm a human; it's the part I was born to play, well, sometimes?

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.

The title is by a Wilde man, first name Oscar, do you know him?

Another poet of interest (to me), you ready for the Notorious?

"It was all a dream, I used to read word up magazine', err... actually, it was none of that, I used to never buy magazines and a point of interest, I still don’t, I never saw the point of buying them, when you could just stand there, while your waiting for some interesting thing in your life to eventuate and look at all the pictures. I'll have to hand ball the rest of this tid bit to the illustrious Cassie Bourke and share a memory, a memory she shared privately with myself over lunch some time ago, now I’m telling everybody!

Cassie was telling me she lives in the gay part of town, the other side of the river, (I would never live there, it’s full of wankers, the kind of people you get in Sydney, and not the gay ones, they are ok, some of them have very strong hands, it helps when your getting a neck massage in a Sauna, you know, but I digress..)

Cassie, if your reading this, take the test.....before it's too late!!!

Cassie herself has never succumbed to this vile way of live, and maybe she's missing out, who knows? Maybe she could 'one day', (a Monday, perhaps?) find someone that would put the toilet seat down? It's not much, but it's a start. Anyway Cassie, has a doctor and when she goes to see him, professionally, well, all the other clientel are gay, pee-pole.

(Queue the Queens engrish)
'....and what does one do, when one is waiting for ones preferred medical practitioner? Only, Perouse the glossy magazines provided and depending on what your there for? Hope (not ‘hop’) the chap in the white coat has warm and if your over 50 matching small index fingers and of course didn’t do any internship with some dairy farmer out in Cranbourne (I have one in mind, and you don’t want to know why!) "
'Now what?', your thinking?

So anyways, Cassandra (her name is changed here, to protect her identity from some of ye vulchers and maybe a discount voucher gossip, Aldi bag swinging type, you know who you are!) So anyways, Cassandra is prepping herself to go in, takes a quick look at the glossy mags and it's all gay stuff, not a 'Word up magazine' in sight! No booty bitches or Snoop doog, not even Paris Hilton and her Chihuahua 'Tinkerbell'?

You get what you pay for here folks, if you want to see my Chihuahua, you have to pay!!

Just gay men getting down and you have to get up to get down, or so I’m told, and maybe this is proof? I don’t think the hero of our story was too pleased, maybe it got her mind off of what ever she was there for in the first pace? Good thing/Bad thing?

"Truth be told, I'm always suspect of people that are on first names basis with their doctor, I know my doctor's name in Ireland, only because he has a cool name, his name readers?

Let's get medical? No, no, mental!!

My doctor's name is Kieran, and i once let him hold my cock (professionally) and he doesn't seem to mind a bit when I bag the shit out of him, but only in a good way, I suppose it goes with the responsibility of having a prestigious name like Kieran, you have to be able to take it., professionally speaking of course.

In Ireland you would never get gay magazines in a doctors surgery, oh man, it would be a scandal, you would have old fellas queuing up the street to get band aids on their knees, Skate boarding would take off among the 60 -80 year olds, good thing/bad thing?

'Doctor, doctor, I fell over, Jeasus, would you look at yer man, with his baldy fella hanging out',
 At least that's what I imagine it would be like?

But in reality, I wouldn't really know, not that there's any gay men in Ireland anyways, they sent them all to the other side of the world.....years ago and that’s what I was thinking? What were you thinking?
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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

It was the day of the sun.....and all i could come up with was this

The sun

"I haven’t got much to report, but if practice makes perfect, then it might be important to do something, not like I was doing anything important before, before what? Where do we start, where do I start? Well, since I last left you, I had work on a Sunday, and would you believe it, it was Sunny, Halleuajh!! 

The day of the Sun and it was sunny, it was like something was prophesised, and all you had to do was be outside or near a window to enjoy it, which would make sense. What didn't make sense was me being at work, but what made sense was me leaving work, the first chance I had and then it was on, and then I was in business."

Old map of the Southern Hemisphere, i'm lost, where am i?

When I did leave/sneak out, only to take a good look at the reason of why I’m on this side of the hemisphere, I stopped off at the TAB (maybe it's bookies to you or Bookmakers to one and all?), only to check you $3 mystery bet trifecter bet I made on the Cox cup, low and behold, I won $26, it was shaping up to be a great day after all. Free coffee, good food, paid and out the gap missus and off to the park and off I went.

"So, I get a text message off of neighbour Steward, he's leaving the park, he's had enough, drank all his beers, I'm still off of the beers, I'm like a new man (minus the newly acquired religious fascination) but I spout it to the masses when I see them drinking, 'Oh repent ye sinners, and turn your mortal souls towards the light of our Lord, his light is like a beacon...' and I get a flash back of the Metallica song, 
'And it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of you tunnel, is just a train, coming your way'

Since I don’t know much about trains, I’ll stop there, since I don’t know much in general, I’ll continue, keep reading, ye pilgrims and sinners. So, I meet Steward and Amy coming out of the park, he tells”

The park was going off, a band was playing and the council was there, to stop the band playing, they were a regular ‘Hell’s angles’ of 2010, sticking a knife in the back of the heart and soul of the place. Have you seen the Stones documentary, 'Gimme shelter?

Rules are the rules, they sure are and unfortunately, the people that make rules are so out of touch of what goes on in the place, it’s easier for them to try and shut everything down, if people never left their houses, there wouldn’t be any trouble on the streets, now would there.

Domestic incidents might spike on some fellas graph, and he might scratch his head, a bald one, dandruff might sprinkle into his coffee, he might injest the coffee, not the way Jim Stynes ingested in his little documentary, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it?

Now, what were we on about again?

Sunset, nice touch, (there could be a Powder reference here, but no,) nice, eh?

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Has Kieran entered adult hood?

So, yesterday, being Saturday, I woke up, I find this a good start to any day, yesterday not being any day, I say, it was, in fact, ‘Day 20, no beer for Kieran, or any other kind of sweet nectar, ingredients to fabricate all those 'Bad chemicals' in my brain and bring out the 'Slim shady in me', but that another story.

Maybe there's a Slim Shady in everyone? Me? Defiantly!!

Then I got out of bed, which is where I was lying and I’m not lying, there was a plan, well a bit of a plan, to get me a fridge freezer, to put my juice in, so it would be cold and I could be happier (is this evidence of multi tasking?'

But first I went for coffee, this didn't make sense, it was raining and I had coffee at home and a $20 coffee machine, that I bought (with my own money), but as I thought later.
'It's the journey that I like, I don’t want to get there, I like going there, I like the quest of going for coffee, breakfast in bed would never do for me, I would like to be the kind of guy, in this life and next, jumping out of bed and chasing that sausage down the road' Er..I’ll probably leave that to the next life, if it ever comes around?


So before long, I’m off in search of these places that sell fridges, first stop Gertrude St, Fitzroy, before I get there, I stop to rub a Stiffies terrier belly, I like it myself reader, I wouldn't mind being a Staffie terrier chasing a sausage down the road and god knows, that Stiffies needed a bit of exercise, but she was a good shape for rolling, it almost sounds like the Stiffies had a built in design feature?

Dave calls me, I’m rubbing a belly (not mine, not yet anyways) and talking to a man with a defective gene (more evidence of multi tasking?) and conversation ensues and stories of the night that was, the night before, I’m recanting all the lost love stories, and the behaviour of, one eagle and one red one (the red one being the man with the defective gene, Dave)

The lads, did a fair job of trying to be too obvious, about.....? About? About, wanting casual romantic encounters with any chick that happened to be near or far and succeeded in chasing them from one side of the party to the next, this was my perspective, only as I was the sober one. Funny, until I’m talking to someone and Dave hovers in and she runs for cover too, now it's not so funny, not to me, anymore.

Enter stage left, James, from Greensbourgh, he seemed like a smart fellow, and he was looking/hunting for alcohol, in the washing machine, if you don’t mind? I was reminded of Simo in Sydney, he would hide beer in the washing machine at parties, so as it wouldn't be stolen, no one ever looks in the washing machine, then it turns out, James though the washing machine was a fridge? Better luck next time, James, maybe he had too much to drink?

James was telling me, he was nervous, nervous about some chick he was seeing the next night on a date, but to get rid of the nerves, how? He picked up some chick that night that he never wanted to see again, I saw him the next day on Brunswick St; he looked like he wanted to see me again? Should I have been nervous? 

And he was looking very relaxed with himself; he was looking forward to the date, but very chilled out. You wouldn’t want any 'hot lead' explosions going off unrepentantly, or a cold war stand off, all over again? Nice, someone's been reading up on their history, you don’t want things repeating, or even a few copy and paste error + copy and paste error.

Other moments, included, James twirling the Hills hoist, washing line, good idea, there were bottles hanging from the washing line, his mate got a bottle on the side of the head, maybe not such a good idea?

Hills hoist

We got a taxi home, the eagle needed a bathroom, I let him use mine, it was a bit reminiscent of the first American Pie, where the guy has the laxative put in his drink, Dave opens the door, the Eagle before long is swearing revenge, like you'd expect any 10 year old to do, not bad for a 26 year old Sydney guy?

Anyways I got a fridge yesterday Saturday, it was $320, I got it for $300 in Northcote after going for a stroll down the road and coming back an hour later, after I bought it a guy came in, he wanted it too, on the way out he wanted to know how much I paid, I should have told him $200, for a laugh, it could have been the same as the Crazy Scottish woman arguing over 50 cents in lake Titicaca, Bolivia.

She didn't want to pay full price, it was probably like $2, just to wind her up, I told her I paid a low price, if I said a lower price, she might have killed someone for over charging her 50 cents, and myself and Aussie Brian were in hysterics.

So anyways, I got a fridge, I sent a text to Brian telling him I’d fill the fridge with beer if he comes and drinks it, Brian responds 'You cheeky cunt, fill it with good beer and I’ll consider it'

This of course is in reference to when I went to his place and drank (a lot of his beer), it didn't go down well (the beer went down a treat!!).

And the El Crazy woman told us we would be 'Life long friends'? I hope Brian comes to drink the beer, if my Saintly lie style continues, I will soon be able to turn water into wine, I hope Merlot, is to everyone’s taste? And it could be game on again? Time will tell!!

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Success and the

When I think of all the things I can do, now my mind has switched to investing, it seems to be how the 'old' mind has switched now that I'm off the beer, but is this a better thing, will it bring me any happiness? Who can tell, am I a happier person?

One thing is for certain is I don’t want to buy a house, oh, yeah, I did want to buy a house, I did, then I went to Confest and all the 'alternative' people running around balls naked made me think, enjoy your life me boy, it might be the only life you'll get, and struggling to pay for a house, near $5 pizza might not make much sense, even to a sometimes fluctuating, sanity deprived human person, as myself, if you get my meaning?

"I was reading a Zen newsletter yesterday and it made a lot of sense, how do you measure happiness, I was rapping away to the Salsbury, on chat, first name Matt along this line, this morning and it got me thinking. All the people buying investment property have the country ruined, I have to pay more rent to live in a place I want to live, all because the demand I gone up, due to so many investment properties being vacant in the inner city.

It got me thinking about Ghandi, in his book 'My experiments with truth', when there was threats on his life; he got life insurance and paid one payment. then he got to thinking, by having insurance on his life, what he was saying to the world was, I don not have faith in my family to provide for them selves if I am dead. He thought, my family can work, they can provide for themselves, they don’t need a big pay out, and so he stopped.

Unfortunately, this seems to be the norm all over the world. In dear old Ireland, it used to be very easy to get a local doctor to declare your parents ‘crazy’ get them committed and take their land off of them, that was cool, until those children, had children of their own."

Now, you have kids here that don’t even bother with the dreams their parents once had, the dream of having your own house is a nightmare, so now, binge drinking is on the rise and they wonder why society has gone mad?

Old people don’t understand it, there is lots of insecurity, everybody wants investments so they are not destitute when they get older and it's a cycle that feed on it’s self, I wonder, I wonder. I'm glad I haven’t bought into it, but what I will buy into are some shares, online, on the share market.

This is the strategy now. I will buy shares in a company that builds housing for miners, in the back arse of nowhere, and I’m going to do it today, future, here i come, get ready!

Oh, people, i'm SOO Spiritual!!

El newsletter stated....
'Success isn’t about achieving something in the future, but about doing something right now that you love.

I like to think i am successful, but i dont think about it, i dont have to, there are no alarm bells going off in my brain, yet.

After all, When you are you, you are Unique! And thats all i do, i keep it real for the Giggers, you know who you are!
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Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Something is always better than nothing, i hope this is something.

So, I didn't do much writing yesterday, and it wasn't because I had nothing to say, not at all dear pee-pole. Not at all, and now the dee-lemia has hit me, as to what to right?

Not sure, but let me tell you this, I call it the most successful tip jar I have ever seen, wit my own eyes!


I saw a tip jar recently, it was full of money and if it's full of money, there has got to be a catchy saying on it, 'Tippers make better lovers'? Oh yeah? That’s a good one, take $5, and let me blow a few million male reproductive cells on your 'derriere', no? But no and double no I say!

The sign on this 'Successful' tip jar said, 'Prease tip, I kneed mouney fur an edurcation', oh how I laughed and it looked like it was working!

Julia Gillard, boss dog of Australia

And now I think of the (world leader in consulting to governments all over the world) guy (do you believe me so far reader?) that informed the people that paid him (head honchos in the government, that are working for Julia Gillard (the boss dog that also a woman) in the government)

Snoop, the boss dog, full stop!

He said
'What you have is an image of a country that is considered to be very decorative, but not very useful.’

Bob Geldof

Maybe we all need an edrucation? Now, in favour of Australia, after all, I call it home after all, and not to go quoting Bob Geldof un necessary, but I kneed to quote the fella, now in his autobiography, Sir Bob said 'History was Ireland's whore', we could never let things go, people all over Ireland can quote historical events that happened decades and hundreds of years ago, these events hold them back in moving forward in their lives, this is our draw back, it would appear.

Now, when I was going to skool (Skool is for fools, and things haven't greatly inproved, I’m sad to say, but) I remember a teacher telling me/us, about some woman in Kerry, that was called a 'Blow in' (someone that just moved to the area), because, because, because? The wonderful wizard of Oz? No, but because her family had only been in that area for 5 generations, only 5 people!!

There's no place like home!!

Now, the Aussies aren’t big on history, it doesn't matter to them, this is their power and their down fall. If you don’t know where you’re from, you don’t know where you’re going.
It was the new country after al, after all what happened after World War 1 and the sequel World War II (Not starring Rambo) does anybody remember it?

Did people come to Australia to escape this guy?

Now, when I was in Washington DC, in the Native American museum, I learnt this.

The native American Indians had a very interesting way of conducting and thinking for themselves. They would think 5 generations in the future and 5 generations back, when making decisions, they would behave in a way that was respectful to their ancestors and would credit their future generations, a very interesting approach to living your life. And it makes sense when you think about it.

I once read the reason why people help each other, even people that hate each other, normally. Is all down to reputation, if you have a reputation, for being honest, or being helpful for example, people would help you, because it would add to their reputation, and when you need help yourself, it's that reputation that will get you over the line, sounds about right doesn't it, all you have to think about is any good neighbour you have ever known and the response they get off of people, when they might nee a bit of a help?

In a world where everybody’s renting apartments on contracts, it's the one thing that’s being sucked out of countries, people switch off, and no one cares. It's a fact the people that care about their communities are the ones that own their own properties, people that rent just don’t care and this is the Kind of thing that’s creeping in everywhere, I would say it's the same for people that are on contracts too, especially for professions, where you need a longer continuation of employment, i.e. the teaching profession.
Back to history, or did you forget?

Now, take Vietnam as an example where history doesn't really 'matter', mind over matter, the world is made up from 'matter', everything is the matter, Mad hatter? Maybe?

But I found it very interesting in Vietnam, no one in Vietnam hatred Americans, if I was Vietnamese, I would want to kill as many Yankee's as possible, but not the Vietnamese, they just wanted to get on with life, this to me, when I was there in 1999, was an unbelievable concept to grasp. It was their power. And they had chicks that looked like Naomi Cambell, working in rice Paddy fields, super models that eat rice and not grams of coke and champagne!

Naomi (beofre she throws a phone at you)

Power? To a Buddhist, absolute power is knowing how they would respond in any given situation, i.e. Knowing, if they were walking down the street and it someone attacked them, knowing they would not retaliate to the person attacking them, that is POWER!!

Ignorance can be power too, and it can work very well for you, as Jay Z would say,
'How bad you want to know?'
And that's what I was thinking....what's going through your head?

Sunday, 17 October 2010

It was all a dream.......or maybe not?

Los douze Amigas de Tiquela

There are only 2 stories, a man comes to town, a man leaves town. Plus, a chick gets off a tram, I recognise her, so I get off too. And here's what happened, yesterday.

I spot a chick, a chick I met in Tequila, Mexico, get oft a tram, with what looked like her mom, so I get off too, turns out it wasn't her mom at all, so mom that wasn't meant to be, walks the other way. Bye bye now, mom (that looks very like Jessica). And the people i'm now hot on the trail, veer right, i go right, right?

A big shout out, and they turn around, who? But Jessica and Bru, of course, and hey presto, we are like the 3 amigos, walking down Collins st, the Paris side, i'm on my was to see Cassie, which is funny, cos when i'm at the intersection of Elizabeth st and Collins, i say, 'Do you want ot come for a drink to E55' to the girls, Jessica says ok, and looks at Pru, Bru says 'I'm easy', i say 'She's easy like a Sunday morning, we might have to wait a few hours?', Cassie is standing behind me, and as she said later, 'i was thinking, oh, no Kieran is heckling girls at the traffic light's', which is kinda right, except these girls were experienced when i came to me, apparently i terrorised them in that memorable day, in Tequila.

The word Tequila, means, 'Black rock that cuts your feet', there is a volcano, there, it used to spew up a black molten lava, and when it cooled down? It was sharp as a razor blade, hence the name, the name the indigenous people gave it. Tequila.

Myself and Jessica at the Kilers concert

One of the little anecdotes, the girls were kind enough to share entailed, 'we were going to get the bus and Kieran disappeared, he came back later eating a big tub of Yogurt, (with yogurt on my shirt) we said '
Kieran, where did you get the yogurt?
Kieran says,
I dunno?
 I keep eating and disappear, which is funny, because I think I had about 16 tequila shots that day, I think I tried any/all shots I was given on that tour and then we came back to the hostel and had a lash of rum.

So, if you’ve been following this rant for a bit, you might know I met the girls again in Buenos Aires, after they got mugged, one of them stubbed their toe, (I don’t remember sharing this advice) but I apparently told them,
'Girls, 2 things will happen to you in South America, you'll stub your toe and you'll get mugged'
And......30 minutes later they got mugged, now they laugh.

I met them in Buenos Aires, after they got mugged, bought them beers and had a laugh. I met Jessica at the Future festival, Armin Van Helden was rubbish and doing plenty of 'Aussie, Aussie, Aussie' bogan chants.
I met Jessica, she saw me, she said
'Kieran, you hanging out by yourself'
Or the like. Then I met Jessica in Bimbos, for my birthday', un scheduled, of course. Then again maybe on Brunswick St, and yesterday. They told me they were on Brunswick St, thinking, 'Where is he?' How funny? Maybe I’m supposed to get one of them knocked up or something?

Peek a boo, i see you!!!

Cruel fate, is this my destiny? Is this supposed to be? What am I to do here?
And all the time Bru looked very confused. Maybe it was all a dream….i used to read work up magazine….

I would have included a photo from Cassie, but she deleted me for commenting on her profile. ages ago
I mean, if you dont log out of your account and someone puts a funny (to me) status update for you, and someone like me (i'm someone like me) comments on it.

Well, it's hardly my fault now, is it?

Friday, 15 October 2010

Chirpy chirp, cheap cheap!!!

So, I wake up, go to relieve myself, outside dunny.........

(Note to reader:
Now since my house mate has moved out, I’m the king of the castle and I can do what I like, and what do I like doing? Why, pissing in the garden, of course!! I was going to add something about having 2 Dragons to the Castle bit, but why bother; it wouldn't even be funny, now would it?)
Back into bed again, and then the birds started chirping, it was a veritable orchestra going on outside, so I got out of bed and made tracks, for the gym, which lead to my next dilemma, which was? What the feck was I going to do there?

So, when pressed with the responsibility of deciding, I did what I always do, in situations of doubt and I let someone else decide for me.
Some guy, that looked like he knew what he was doing (I still didn't know what I was doing, it was probably 6.15am) said, do V-Punch, so I did that, after 1.5 hours in the gym, absolutely fecked, I departed, on schedule and on time for a meeting I was scheduled to attend, that I seriously doubted I would make for 8.30am, it's still very early and I was beginning to feel like I had a good days work put in already!

Oh, how things have changed in my word, changed indeed, could the 'No booze' rule have anything to do with this people?

But first I stop to talk to receptionist Sarah, I noticed on the way in Sarah was incredibly hung over, and she had a stamp on her hand, from the night before, which I pointed out, and then I have to sing a Led Belly verse, 'My girl, my girl, don’t you lie to me, tell me where did yea spend last night?'

Sarah, lost her purse, got drunk, didn't know where she went, but woke up in her own bed, it's not much, but at least it's a start, I guess?

On the way out of the Gym, she looked somewhat alive, probably breathing, but I’m not doctor? Mouth to mouth resuscitation? I'd give it a go, but I’m not guarenteeing anything, I’m no Saint....yet, but that's no reason NOT to prey to me or for me, ok?

The doctor

If it feel's good, do it, it's a rule I’ve lived by and look where I am, on the 15th level of a building, on a Friday evening sending out the good word to the masses, my scripture's, cos I only do it for my Gigga's!!

Well, Sarah, is looking for somewhere, somewhere to live soon, she tells me to come round to her joint and take all the stuff she is trying to get rid of, she even has a tin opener, which is perfect, coz, I have tins and time, but no tin opener, all you have to do in this country is tell people what your looking for and you'll get it for free, usually.

So anyways, this is hope, you can utilise your arms and legs, but hope give's you the courage to continue.
And it continues......

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

A Saint's a sinner too! When am i gonna be a Saint? I'm done Sinning!!!

There once was a woman called 'Mary' from Fitzroy, now they are all busy calling her 'St Mary', it's going through, Australia’s first saint, a holy one too!!
According to a song on the new Slash album, 'A saint is a sinner too', which makes me to think, 'When am I gonna be a saint?' And I’m not talking about playing for St Kilda (even though I put $20 on them to win the grand final) I knew they wouldn't win either, I hate Collingwood that much to throw $20 away, I’m afraid I do!

I had lunch with Cassie yesterday; she's fighting with her mother. Why? Her mother thinks’ she's too picky with men, and she should just choose one and settle down, fair enough, everyone is entitled to their opinion

I told her, she should tell her mother
'I read the Mary Mc Killop story and I feel a higher calling, I think I want to be a nun and follow in her footsteps'
 For a laugh only, it would appear (old?) Cassie's mother thinks’ she is too choosy, she should settle for any old fella that can fall in the door and get a boner at 2am (would Cassie need to be awake at the time? I'm thinking, would it be necessary?

Ian Thorpe
As long as the Immaculate Conception had the start of Michael Kim and the power finish of Ian Thorpe, who fackin' cares missus) who would need to know? How it all happened would be a mystery future religions could be based on, how would Cassie look on a donkey? Absolutely perfect!!

An Aritst impression?

9 month later (probably spring time) a little human being, Yippee!! Mission accomplished, or is it the beginning?
Back to Mary, born in Fitzroy and a lot has changed since those days, oh they were all poor, scraping a living, kids weren’t wrapped in cotton wool, the men were tough, plenty of immaculate conception going on, now? I'll bet they didn't even have 'Helicopter parents' in dem daze, Helicopter either!
Now, it's littered with fellas moisturised from head to toe and sipping on a premium beer and twittering on an iPhone in the other.

If you owned a house there you'd be rolling in it, if you lived in that post code, I live in that post code, actually the post code just outside Fitzroy, you see I’m 'Fitz royalty', I know what your thinking, too? I should have a 'Tin hat' to distinguish myself from the commoners, the lower classes or other post codes, just like the Queen, not the band, the gin swilling old lady that lives tax free.

My new Tin Hat

(Not to reader, there is a benefit for poor people in Engrund, the queen applied for it, apparently the Castle/Castles are getting a bit cold for her, so tax payers should pay for a little bit of heating, only the poor people would be affected, sounds fair, eh?)

The Queen after a few Gin and Tonic's
I did get a pay rise, truth be told, ages ago too, as I told my boss, I wanted to buy in Fitzroy and it wasn't going to happen on my old rate, then I went to Confest and had one of the best weekends of my life, I got plenty naked too!! After that getting a crippling mortgage to live near all the cafes and $5 pizza places, didn't seem so important anymore?
I asked Cassie yesterday what her legacy would be, she looked shocked, I have this blog, I have YOU readers (tell all your friends, and click on the Ad's to make me rich, you ungrateful fuckers!!!)
As Walt Wiltman once said
'Henceforth, I ask not good fortune, I am good fortune'
I quite agree, sur why would I disagree. If I’m here, the party is on, when I’m dead you'll have my scriptures (What’s that, you say? You’re reading it, dumbass)

Other Saints, i wouldn't mind a bit of that, either!! Hear me Jesus!!!

So, when are they going to make me a Saint? What would my Devils advocate have to say, in opposition? Kieran is a non practicing 'Good person'? And of course the Queen and her sort will be going to hell, it will be plenty enough warm there for them?
Is this a happy ending? As a Brazilian girl once said to me about a romantic movie
I love happy endings, because you know its coming.
I'll bet you didn't see that.....

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Home alone and I’m fine with that

So, the quest goes on, it's turning out to be a bit like the 'Never ending story', someone is going to get value for their money and since I’m now paying for 2 rooms, I’m guessing it's not me.
And why would I want the story to end either? Every night I have people calling in, we have a chat, they look around, they leave, someone else knocks and it goes on and so forth, just like home. Home sweet home, just like in Cork and I have the whole place to myself.

Your home is your castle, I’m free to walk around the place, naked if I want and why not? I'm not offending you am I, not yet anyways, pictures will not be supplied of this rare occurrence?
I tried uploading pictures of this inner city castle, (even though the name does say 'Cottage') on the net, of the house, the internet wasn't having any of my upload business, maybe it wasn't meant to be, the internet and me, the internet rejected photos of my home, gay porn? That’s fine, old women’s knitting patterns? Fine too. Videos of some mid thirty's (get a life, stop living life through a damn cat! ) chicks all over the world playing with their cats, fine, fine, fine. But not my house. I think it's called a bug, but I’ll refer to it as 'cruel fate', and I’m fine with it, I’m left to describe it with words, paint it with words even.

As Nora Jones would say, 'If I was a painter, I would paint my riviere', just don’t go walking under my ladder while I’m doing my painting missus, I might lost concentration, throw you a dirty look and see it my bucket will bounce off of you head.
I'm an artist after all? And can you blame me, would you like to live with me? I'll bet you would, I live near everything worth living near, the air is clear, enough. I can walk to the city, the park is over the road, and life is good. I can get a $5 pizza, 2 minutes from my door. I know people, people know me, yea know? Sunshine? Yeah, I’ve got that thrown in too, all you have to do is stick your head out the back yard, if you had some good drugs you could go on a nature walk, but the walk would be contained in a small back yard, did I say you would need good drugs?
For only $200, bills (and balls) included, it's your ticket to the sweet, sweet life, so get in quick!!


The best thing is, as long as I’m not on the beer, the place is totally affordable for me to live there, alone with my thoughts and I can be as choosy as I want before I let anyone join my gang!!
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