Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Leaving Rat-alaide, Confest (it's a conference), here i come!!!

It was time to leave good old Rat-alaide, Paula and her housemate dropped me off on the street Couch Surfer David was going to be staying, it was the posh part of town and i finished off my beers from the night before as all the neighbours went out for their morning jog and stroll, i was getting looks probably normally reserved for small exotic animals, rich socialites and lesbian's...socialite ones, do you know the type?

We were on our way to a festival called 'Confest', the most Melbourne festival you could get (and nearly every car had the state of Victoria on it, who needs 'Empire state' of mind), but this was all in New South Wales, where the laws are a bit lax compared to Victoria.

Ever since Victoria got it's independence from NSW, they have been at logger heads, probably Victoria announcing a Gold strike the day after the split wasn't exactly cricket, but who's perfect? Listen to how Queensland got it's name

I remember being in front of a tram stop, years ago with my first Girlfriend (of sorts) Claire, i said
'Thank god for the Queen, for tomorrow we get the day off'
I was only joking, some guy stepped forward and looked at me and said
'The Queen can fuck off to Queensland'
It was Classic!!


It would appear the laws aren't so strict in New South Wales, and it's just over the border, so maybe NSW becomes a bit of a sin city for some, then you can come back to Victoria, clean as a whistle.
'Was the Devil trying to get in or get out' 
Some might ask you, and the response could be 'Definatly trying to get out and i left him in NSW', phew!! Thank god for that!! Welcome to Victoria, the place to be...fined.

But before the festival, i was listening to triple J and they said there was a Deadmau5 2 hour set coming up recorded live in London, i had more than a few beers listening to this great set, quality stuff!!


So anyways, the nest day, i was off to Confest with the boys, it was a bit of a boys outing, except
'The boys' were off to set up the 'Gay Village' in Confest, and piss the 'Tipi' village, the men with wig wams were not happy with the territory emproachment, so here's the story, well part of.

Camp ground stealer's

Most of the organisers of Confest are Gay. So when the Gay village moved in the gay organisers looking at a huge  field said, 'Yeah, no problem, first come first served', the gays moved in, there wasn't exactly a row of tents, maybe that's where things could have went wrong?

All the Tipi people want is to be a camp, one big happy row of tents would do even!

One night before the festival, introducing and angry hetero sexual, with Wig Wam in toe, drives up as the boys are eating their dinner, as every good boy should do and pretty much tells them to 'fuck off', pretty much like that episode out of Father Ted, the episode about he stolen whistle.

Father Ted
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The funny thing is, one of the organisers, a gay guy was out to Sabotage the Gay village, and stat as much drama as possible as soon as he said to the gay guys, camp here no problems, and they did.

Soon after the same guy, said :
'Oh, the Tipi Village wont be happy with you being there'
A sign of things to come? 

 Is this a worlds first 'Gay guy, sabotaging gay guys' (Since Edgar Hoover, of course)

It's funny as the gay organiser certainly did like Gay guys, he liked going to the Sauna after midnight, sauna after midnight is 'NOTORIOUS', every straight guy would want to be out of hearing distance of the goings on.

Not that you'd have to be within hearing distance of gays, it was my personal experience, that no more than 10 minutes of listening to 10 gay guys talk was enough to drive me away to other camp fires for a few hours, for real!!

Swag bag
I did get to sleep in a swag bag, a real pioneer experience, one of the guys Nathan, dislocated his shoulder and woke up in a swag bag, the chick he woke up next to said 'Oh no, i have to make bacon, eggs and coffee, do you want some?'

The chicks kid saw her in the swag with Nathan and she said:
 'I'm not a slut, we didn't have sex!'
The kid said 'Aw mom, i don't care' and walked off with his friends, Nathan didn't know what was going on!!!
It would have been pretty funny!! Nathan didn't know what was going on, but it was Confest!!!

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