Thursday, 31 March 2011

Alice springs, i was there Alice Todd never made it, who the Fu$k is Alice?


So, i flew from Perth to Alice, it was time to get out, i spent enough time in Perth to get to know Perth and i think Perth got to know me too, so it was up, up, up in the air, Mr Quatas pilot take me to somewhere else.

On the way there, i saw Ayers rock from above, very interesting, indeed, especially now that i remember seeing a movie called 'The man from Hong Kong', it starts off with a Heroin deal gone wrong on top of this sacred rock, quality movie, it's a cross between 'Mad Max' and a Jackie Chan movie!!

A movie that could never be made again


I was going somewhere, that somewhere else was Alice Springs, i saw couch surfer David was going to Confest, so David picked me up from the Airport and showed me the sights, which included the look out tower and the spring that's not a spring, that was named after Alice Todd, who never made it to Alice Springs (that's not really a springs)

Nice work Alice, you could have been a Queen, do you know that? Queens-land, Alice-land, little wonder?

Mud tribe at Confest

I had no 'real' intention of visiting Alice Springs, but i was going to Darwin, the road was flooded north of Kalgoorlie, David was driving to Confest, but the back road was flooded and he was going to Adelaide first, i was keeping my options open and low and behold something came up.

That something was a text from a Norwegian guy called Inglemar, he was going to Darwin, the guy from Taiwan was looking at notice boards hoping to get a ride share, Inglemar saw an ad i posted on  couchsurfing (that i forgot about), so we were off to Darwin.

 I did manage to go out one night with some couchsurfers, we had cheap meals at some back packers, followed by a few jugs of beer, then it was off to the next place and the place after that was the Casio, it think it's the luckiest Casino in the world!

Feeling lucky?

Someone forgot their ID, so while i was waiting for the crew to come back, i played Roulette for 10 minutes, (Once you go black you never go back) I won a fair bit, so the first round was on me, then i had a dance, played more, danced, played, i seemed to win win a fair bit, i put $2.50 on number 8, i won $75 plus i put money on black, it was black i won more.

So we went home, i got home, i went back to the casino, played some more, won, came back to sleep and slept.

 Enter the Crazy guy


Then at some stage all hell broke loose, some guy was smashing the fly screen trying to get in, David comes running out, it turned out an ex tenant was so drunk he didn't realise he didn't live there any more. It turns out he was a security guard, David calls the cops, on the security guard, the Taiwanese guy was telling me when it was all going down, 'Oh no, the Irish guy is gone crazy', i had to laugh, one day i will be normal, tomorrow?

I am supposed to be in Japan and i'm not CRAZY!!!

My only 'real' objective in Alice was to try and find the 2 American lesbians that i met at Rainbow Serpent, butt since google told me Alice Springs is the Lesbian capital of Australia, there was little or no hope meeting them there.

I cant remember their names and i know it wouldn't matter, it was the Rainbow Serpent festival, after all!

It didn't stop me from asking people though, i got pretty much the same response, once people stopped laughing, which they eventually did, but it was fun, it reminds me of that day i was looking for a button in Quebec, i didn't find one, but i had a lot of fun 'shopping' for one, which only proves, shopping is fun!!

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Sometimes things get complicated.....

Scruffy and life up in the air



So boys and girls, the Kalgoorlie days had to come to an end, there was a start, middle and end, i know this as i am now in Darwin, trying to remember it all, it happened, it could happen to you and 'What is it?' you say, 'It is it', of course, 'Thats...it?'

Scruffy and a complicated girl?


Highlights of Kalgoorlie

  1. Coming into town with a guy that went on to drive to Sydney, non stop, we arrived in Kal at 1am Saturday morning, he got to Sydney Sunday 8pm, Crazy....but fun
  2. Hanging out with my Auntie and her family (especially Scruffy the dog, coz he's the best!!)
  3. Giving driving lessons to the tune of Triple J or if Scruffy was with us, Olivia's music
  4. Olivias comment as we went around the round about 'Can you put it in 2nd gear', Classic!!
  5. Drinking beers on the balcony
  6. Reading on the balcony, i think i might have even read a no smoking sign?
  7. Chit chatting with a Skimpy and thanking god i wasn't wasting my youth on a mining town chasing big $$$
  8. Paddys day, i won the door prize for best dressed Paddy?
  9. Regained old form for hand stands and now i can do push ups (it kept he beer belly away!!)
  10. A road trip back to Perth and back to Kalgoorlie, i was the driver with a lead foot on the way back!! 


Going to school in Kalgoorlie





Balcony school

Sunsets over them beaches.......bitches?

The videos are from Kalgoorlie, daze of drinking beers on the balcony, reading and...the odd hand stand press up?






Olivia goes to work

Monday, 21 March 2011

On a rainy day, sit back and relax....

My personal body guard Scruffy, he really likes meat!!! Any kind will do!!!

So, i'm not sure if i decided to stay a little bit longer in Kalgoorlie, or it just turned out that way, i could have jumped in a car and went to Esperence (3 hours south on the coast) with a guy from the hostel the other day, but since i'm here to see my Auntie and her family and i dont know when i'll ever be back, i thought i'd stay as long as i could, then get the hell out of town, i do want to go north towards Darwin.

10 years ago i would have jumped in the car and went, but this is the problem getting old-er, the friends and family thing pulls you in a certain direction, probably up off of my ass?

And i have Scruffy to keep me company all day every day, he even sleeps in my room, he keeps a close eye on me every second of the day.

Part of the balcony

So, what to do in a town like this? Actually this post was supposed to be called 'Chuck Palahniuk and me', but yet again, the free style writing has morphed it into something on a different tangent altogether, which isn't a bad thing in itself, as this is the kind of thing i actually want to read myself .

 I've been reading lots, sipping beers on the balcony, eating fine food, listening to great music, been doing some core strengthening exercise's plus i'm back to doing hand stands, i've evolved to doing press ups while doing hand stands, to counter all the beer i've been consuming.

Do it bitches!!!!


I've been treating this place like a holiday, so i do what you would do on holiday, what would you do?

Balcony at night, same side as above

Sunday, 20 March 2011

Chuck Palahniuk and me

I tried to write this 3 times, and somehow got on tangents, but not this time, Chuck Palahniuk you are in my cross hairs, you are not getting away this time!!

His latest novel, called 'Diary, it' inspired by the idea of a 'Coma diary'
It’s what sailors and their wives used to do, Grace said, keep a diary of every day they were apart. It’s a treasured old seafaring tradition. A golden old Waytansea Island tradition. After all those months apart, when they come back together, the sailors and wives, they trade diaries and catch up on what they missed. How the kids grew up. What the weather did. A record of everything
What a great idea! I do something similar VIA blogging (i do try and keep the Cocaine and hooker parties references to a minimum, but what can i say, Charlie Sheen is such a big influence to me? )

And thats the thing about Chuck, his ideas for novels, they are unbelievable and the ideas he puts through the storys are so interesting for example, in Diary, he incorporated hand writing analysis, body language, many of the his novels ideas i was reading about in Bill Bryson's history of the English language, 'Mother tongue', who else does this?

Chuck talking about an experience i too had, unbelievable!!


It's like everything he writes, is so original, so original, it sucks you in, in fact you can tell it's him! Apart from Tom Robbins, i can think of an author who does totally original concepts EVERY TIME!!!

Tom Robbins got me into Osho and maybe you too?


In the last book i read 'Rant', i was reading about NLP ideas he incorporates in another book i was reading, he's broadcasting on a wave length and i'm only beginning to tune in, but it's happening, more and more.

And Fight club, well i read that one over Christmas and it totally switched my brain to a whole new level, what cam i say but, 'When the student is ready, the teacher appears'

Friday, 18 March 2011

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

Chris Smither' Slow Suprise'


So, i would like to point out, since i've been staying with people that have internet 'on tap' and unlimited download limits, i have turned into a failbook whore!

 Although i do limit my time to failbook and email, it does tend to consume a little bit more time than anyone with 'Sense' would wish, so to add to a list of compulsive behavior people enjoy (since i dont suffer from it, i enjoy it too much)

Since most of the people i know on Failbook are basically dicks anyways, it's a wonder why anybody would bother?
Is it a slow surprise, that i should stop? It funny how you can 'know' some people for years and still not know much about them, maybe i need to do another 'friends culling' again? I do feel better for it, out with the old....

Washing hands is such an old compulsive disorder, i heard a story about a guy that had to turn on and off the light's as he left a room, the room he was leaving was the Male toilets, and it was full!

Because the guy with the compulsive disorder was drunk, he only turned the lights on and off 10 times and not the usual 20 times, not that you could tell if you normally have problems pissing straight normally and your shoe is getting wet and you haven't even started (it's a guy thing!!!)

I must check Failbook over 10 times as day and i'm not the worst, it would appear Failbook has over taken SMS for people that have internet on their phones and it is so DAMN addictive, in Kalgoorlie, Western Australia the kids, it would appear use it to bitch about each other and thats where the 'beef' starts, it doesn't happen face to face! The fights happen face to face though!!


Why couldn't i just get hooked on crack and maybe get into cocaine and hooker parties? If i was here and into that, there would be no problem, the problem would be solved.

Well, i wanted to do a story about the book i was reading, but fuck you Fail book, readers you get this, it had to be said

Now check out Eminem, if he's got something to say, he's going to say it!!

Eminem killing it on the Letternman show, very clever lyrics


I have great memories watching this, after comng back from 'A tribe called Quest' rap gig, then realizing drunk Steve from Gypsy bar had pissed on the couch, my pants contained all the evidence!!

Thursday, 17 March 2011

Tsunami, where you at?

So, it would appear i did it again.

So, i'll write this while listening to this, DJ Pierre - Gigolo mix, why don't you listen to him and read this and tell me if it makes any sense, cents, pence, do pence still make sense?
'Did what?' 
Your probably wondering...
'Your always doing something'
Too true, and i missed another Tsunami folks, do any of ye know that?

This one i missed in Japan, i'm supposed to be there now, eating sushi, getting bullet trains left and right and covering up my tattoos, just to prove i'm not a gangster (I'm so gangster, but only when my mom says i'm allowed)

Sri Lanka

The last big Tsunami in missed in Sri Lanka 2004, i missed it by a few days, i went back to Sri Lanka after that Tsunami 6 month later and saw all the devastation that happened on the west coast of the Sri Lanka coast line and it wasn't pretty.

For example where i stayed in Trincomalee got completely flattened by the Tsunami 

The first people to help were the Japanese truth be told, the people couldn't believe where all these Japanese people came from that were providing aid. The aid money that was sent by people all over the world was used to kick people off of their land to build government run resorts, so those people got screwed twice,it was very convenient for the government


The bus driver's in Sri Lanka weren't driving so crazy the 2nd time, you'd have to see a bus driver to risk the life of 2 bus loads of people and more in overtaking to know this, maybe they seen enough death and they would have and change their ways?

Apart from the devastation, most of the cool people i would have met would have been killed, the funny thing was the people that lived in harmony with nature saw the animals behaving strangely and took to the hills!!

This probably wasn't the case with the Japanese consumer society glued to iPhones and any gadget invented by man to distract the masses from the preset moment, there are too many people distracted from the present moment and not to mention the Hikikomori culture.

Here come da pain!!

Now, just before the Sri Lanka Tsunami, one of my ex team leaders Deb read a book on Tsunami's and as part of an email to say 'hello', told me all these interesting facts, that seemed useless facts, to any normal person, which is exactly why i remembered them all, at the time, of course (those facts are sadly buried in the vaults of my cranium, only to be released when i'm not suffering from, but enjoying Dementia, probably while i'm getting my sponge bath from a nurse) and thats a fact!

Tsunami hits Japan

So when the Tsunami happened, while i was safely in Northern India, i was able to rattle off all these Tsunami facts, much to the bewilderment of my fellow travelers, who had never heard of Tsunamis, sponge baths or why anybody would enjoy Dementia?

So, the reason i couldn't go to Japan was out too long before, (3 years minus 2 day) having a good time and if truth be told, i just got back to Australia a day or 2 before the door would have closed on me, so by some strange calculation by the Immigration department, i couldn't leave and i tried everything to leave!
I was leaving to go to my sisters wedding in May and take in Japan, Malaysia, the Roskilder festival, Berlin along the way, so now what to do? 

Brain said 
'Go to West Australia' 
And i did, i decided to go for a month, now the month i up tomorrow and i'll be staying on, Darwin is calling, don't you know?

All the omens were good too for WA, my library gave me a book called Flood tide, for Valentines day present, all wrapped up, lovingly, lovely right? 
Yep, except now they want it back the dirty whor$s, where's the love? Is there such thing as unconditional love anymore? 
But, i can take a joke, we are only here for a short time on this ancient earth, anyways, is that maybe a lesson too?

I got to Perth, all the couch surfers were amazing, i went from Couch surfer to couch surfer in Maylands (Selby), East Freemantle (Steve) to Riverton (Fillippo) everything flowed, i even met a chick for 30 seconds after getting of fat the wrong train stop that knew my auntie in Kalgoorlie (over 700kms away)

It was like i was supposed to be in WA and i've been having a whale of a time!

Not having a whale of a time?


I wasn't supposed to go to Japan at all and my brain kept saying 'Go back to Brazil Kieran'

And the Tsunami happened, now, if anyone has a Guardian Angle, it's me, i probably had 10 in the past, now i probably have just one on the pay role (is it another sign of a world wide recession) and I'm not so crazy anymore, i just don't have the energy, like i did, but people still think i'm crazy, but i know i'm not, which is strange too. 

An artist's impression of my Guardian Angel 


It seem i like i'm some kind of Bear Grills for avoiding natural disaster. Which is interesting, the show i watched the other night he said 

'If you work with nature and not against it...'
Now let me have this little rant...
It seems to me too many people are living 'unnatural lives', from living in sky scrapers, the food we eat, life styles, artificial lights, mining and the general disregard for nature, throw in a nuclear melt down and the list goes on.

Bear Grills, does he have all the answers?


The Shaman i hung out with in Peru told me there is only the Pachamama (mother earth) there is nothing else, which makes sense, since the people that know this all too well survived in Sri Lanka by observing their natural surroundings.

I was telling my Aunties husband the world need's to rethink how they value how well economies are doing, the king of Butan i son to something when he measures his country by 'Gross domestic happiness', the progress thats been going on in the last few years has been an Emperors new clothes progress and who's laughing now? Whales?

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Poetry anyone? Part 2



I was out shopping with couch surfer Selby in Perth, there was all these 'funny' cards on a rack, i couldn't help myself, me, being in the business of cards, i must have sent out more than 30 post cards.

So, one of the cards had this poem, and for some reason it's stuck in my head, so now, i'll share it with you..
Little Willie Winkle
Running about the town
Upstairs downstairs, all day long
Knocking at the window
Looking through the lock
Does anybody want to see my.......? ...My rock?

I'm not really sure about the last line......not!


End

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Poetry anyone? I knew 1, now i know another 1, that makes.....sense?

Hong Kong? Why not?
Well, if you went to school and i'm assuming a lot since your viewing this blog from what ever corner of the world you happen to be residing at this present moment, or.....

Or. maybe you think that you are the centre of the universe? I would give you 2 points for either answer, who's asking the questions again?

Anyways, i know 2 poems, 1 + 1 = 2 and here they are..

This poem used to be in the cubicle of the toilets (male) of the Great Britain bar in Richmond, now it is gone, the poetry that is, the toilet is still there, now what am i supposed to do a i try and lull myself into a relaxed state, while i empty my bladder, it just hasn't been the same!!

So, in an effort to right a terrible wrong, i will write it here and recorded now, i don't think i'll ever forget the poem, but maybe you could learn it and write it somewhere?

And i t could go on and on, until....someone might write a book about the origins of this poem? Archeologists, your evidence is here, commence digging now!!

 Or not, but here it is.....
Old Raffa is now leaving Hong Kong
He sadly didn't stay very long
But amongst the hustle and bustle
He found the muscle
He found the muscle
That makes the Chinese girls good at ping pong

Anyone for a game?

Monday, 14 March 2011

NLP and me

So, i went to the library last week and picked up a few book's, one  was NLP by Joseph O'Conner and the other was Rant by Chuck Palahniuk, i had just put the NLP book down and started reading Rant and it starts off with NLP concepts.

How crazy, the stuff i had been just reading in one chapter, is EXACTLY what Mr Chuck is writing about in his latest novel.

So, i was first introduced to NLP by a guy doing card tricks in San Francisco, he told me about it, i put it in my blog, so that i could read about it later and it turns out, later is last week and this week, food for thought aint no famine going on here!!

But some NLP notes...
Language of the Neurological level covers:

  1. Identity
  2. Belief
  3. Capability
  4. Behavior
  5. Environment

I found this article on how state works, on a neurological level (i stuck the whole article here, just so it will always be here)

So, it is often said that when you are in state, you can get attraction just by approaching and saying hi. If you are out of state, you have to use more humor, banter, etc to get a reaction. I was talking to a friend about this and remembered what I read about mirror neurons.
Basically the concept is that in order for you to interpret another person's physical behavior, your brain imagines what it is like if you were doing those physical actions, and infers how you would feel to be doing it. So, the reason porn is arousing is that on a subconscious level your brain is simulating the physical actions and sensations you are watching the porn star doing, and you are getting the emotional reactions that you would experience if you were actually doing it
Thus, if you are in state, and it shows in your body language, people you talk to will be observing your body language and on a subconscious level will start imagining what it is like to behave as you do, and then will start feeling as you do. Thus, your mere presence gives them good feelings. 
However, if you are out of state, but not actually off putting, you can put a person you are talking to in a good mood through clever conversation, funny jokes, flirting etc. Then, your brain begins mirroring her good body language, and puts you in state.

It's quite interesting, the NLP approach to meeting people is when you meet someone, you should 'pace' them, basically being at their same energy level, after that you can change it up, or 'lead them', but by being on their level, you get a better response, which would explain why everyone i meet thinks i'm crazy, i'm just excited most of the time, there is no other way i'd rather be, but this information is good to know, now that i know, yea know?

Pacing and leading:


And gaining rapport:



And Darren Brown on Rapport

I got some references for the 'state'
Body language
Flirting
Reading body language

Quite interesting, indeed

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Femme fatale's, there's was quite a few of them around


When i was in Perth, i went to the 'Femme Fatal' exhibition, it was an exhibition about bad girl or girls gone bad, in Australia, coke dealers, prostitutes, chicks that would do lots of damage, shoot yea, cut yea even!

Which is strange, in some ways, in that if you were to go into any nursing home and have a cup of tea with some old dearie and then to know her past, i could be like
'Mrs Sweeney, room 202? She's been around the block more times than the number 88 bus!'
Which could be a good reason in itself to get a few trams in for Perth, but i digress

Want to give up your life of crime, get a cardigan, then your half way there!!

I'd often wonder when people get old, is donning a cardigan a good way to cover the fact that you spent your youth selling your body for drugs and half the time coked up to your knot? It's a disguise that would defiantly work!!

I will have about 10 in my wardrobe, one for every day of the week....hmm, as i get older i expect time to slow down, considerably, the 7 days a week schedule, i expect to drag out to 10 days a week, well, you have to be able to look forward to something? If i get a pension, i want to be paid 10 days a week, but that's another story.

As we all know, Australia has a brutal past, some are very selective on the history they would like to remember at, these femme fatal women being no exception, except people do remember and the story was told.

One chick's sly grog place got raided by other criminals that wanted to kill a guy staying there, she came down the stairs and pumped a guy full of lead, literally, so much lead the guys body called it quits and his soul went off to be reincarnated as a donkey in Egypt, i expect?

Imaging meeting a woman like that, and being fooled by the old cardigan, butter wouldn't melt in my mouth, would you like a nice cup of tea? I just baked some scones? Cocaine scones probably?

Check out sweet Kate, if you don't believe me!

Some of the quotes from the exhibition:
Italian proverb
'Woman is rarely wicked, but when she is she is worse than a man'
Raymond Chandler, Farewell my lovely
'I like smooth shiny girls, hard boliled and loaded with sin'
Now, introducing my cousin Olivia.......a wanna be Fatale and very Femme?

Driving Miss Daisy takes a twist?

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Neck Piercing anybody?

So, i got to Perth, then what happened?

This story starts back in (marvelous) Melbourne, i was out watching a band called 'The murder rats' with Michelle, Dave, Stewart (the designated driver) and myself,of course i was there, it's all about me!!

So we, me, myself and i were watching this band and a thought came to me, i think someone in from of me had a neck piercing, and my brain recieved a message from the universe,
'Get a neck piercing Kieran'

Murder Rats


The last time i felt something like that was at the Rainbow serpent festival, and that was the 'Get a tattoo', which i did and that was such a good experience, so why would the neck piercing be any different? What was i supposed to do?

Piercing, who says i'm old?



So, i get to Perth, walking in North bridge, i'm passing a piercing place, and in i go. Brain says do it, do it!!

What can i do? I dont do it, then and i went to Kalgoorlie, like any sensible person would have done. But before long, i found myself back in Perth, walking around, by myself (maybe i should have been supervised?) and i went into a piercing place and the brain was up to his old tricks.

When it comes to piercing's in Perth everybody says they are the best in town and dont get one anywhere else, i did go into a piercing place that was cheap-er, but they just weren't about piercings, i know this because they didn't have any and they wore white uniforms, which is nice, but not very rock and roll!

I would be like getting a tattoo from someone with no tattoos, if the tattooist doesn't sleep, eat, think, fuck? About tattoos, your in the wrong place

The piercing place was more like a opticians, which is cool, but it's not exactly what you want, not what i want, so i went back to the first place, paid $40 more and got a chick that lives, breathes, dreams piercing, and who would believe it, i had $120 on my card?

According to some, maybe the one's i know in Ireland the chick that gave me the piercing, would never get a job.
Who would employ them with piercings?
Who indeed?

We swiped the credit card, transaction was accepted and there was no backing off at that point and before long it was done, happy 34 years young (and apparently i was very brave...for a guy)

I got this at the gallery in Perth, i remember Stuart is big into box wars, now, box man!!
Box man


The security guard was telling me about the Irish cricket team that set world records, like i care? And i beat England, ok maybe anytime you beat England you got my attention, so he walked off the the other side of the gallery and he told me there was no cameras in that part i was in and he couldn't see anything once he was on the other side.

Yep, all because of cricket, so maybe something good has come out of cricket after all?

Sculptures by the sea, i see?



So, as you can see, i went to Perth, Couch surfer Selby sent me a text about the Sculptures by the sea, i did know it was on, i saw the front cover of the 'local rag', i don't read them, but how are  you supposed to block out these images, anyways.

They also have Sculptures by the sea in Sydney, on the Coogee to Bondi walk every year, is Perth trying to emulate Sydney in some way, which might sound ridiculous at first, except for the fact that by the year 2040, Perth will have more people that Sydney.

They (the powers that be) are actually planning it, it's like planning to stick your hand in a blender, you  have to laugh at the stupidity of it all



It sounds like a sad joke this progress, that few people would find funny, but now you know it's so,....sad but true, a bit a kin to 'Lets take a nice city and lets see how much we can fuck it up until the only thing left for people to do is to drive out in to the desert, hoping that they might die?'


It felt so arty, the birds were getting in on the act.

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

I just love your Kookaburras Australia!!!

So the last blog post about being finally 34 years young. was a little lacking on content, and content i was not, in-content especially since i have so many videos to back up just what the hell was going down and go down it did.

Kookaburras


Meet the King:


Cos i like birds?


Meet all the gang:


It was one of the best birthdays EVER and i didn't make a complete ass of myself, which was definite plus, thing are getting better in that old brain of mine, who knows one day i might end up a Tibetan Buddhist monk, i haven't ruled it out!

And we had fish and chips by the river an dcame back to Nevils with beers, i got a case, just in case and we drank the shit out them!!

EPIC!!

So, it was my birthday, Kieran hit the big Three four......

So, i went on a bit of a road trip to Perth, to be the responsible one to drive Steve back to Kalgoorlie.

Driving into Perth


I had a driving miss Daisy scenario in my head, a scenario that was put to sleep by doing 110 kms back to Kalgoorlie, apparently i have a lead foot?

How i thought i'd be driving back to Kalgoorlie

So, while it was my birthday down in Perth, we didn't have much other option other than try and celebrate it someway, Steve wanted to visit his old neighbour down in Mandura, so we went there.

Driving to Nevils in Mandurah

I remember my mother going on about Nevil and what a cracker he turned out to me, check out the videos.

Some of Nevils quotes were:
Gypsy saying: It's better to travel in hope than arrive
The only people i like are in my crosshairs
Travel with all you possessions on your left shoulder
If i come back to this earth i hope i come back as a deadly disease, i found the reference to that one 

In a mainstream news interview, HRH Prince Philip (1981) verbalized his concern that world overpopulation is more important that animal conservation, stating that:
I suspect that the single most important gift of progress to conservation has been the development of human contraception techniques. Yes, but you can’t legislate these problems away. You’ve got to get people to understand the need for it: the more important people, the ones who have responsibilities have got to do it because they’re at the receiving end. They’ve got to accept the measures.  
Prince Phillip later expressed the desire to be reincarnated as a deadly virus in order to reduce the human population by half (HRH Prince Philip, 1987) 
 What a cracker, for a very nice guy he had some pretty out there ideas!

He told me to read 'One crowded hour' by Tim Bowden and more Tim Winton, 'The Turning' and Dirt music, which i surly will

Driving back to Perth from Mandurah

Monday, 7 March 2011

Couch surfers in Perth have a sense of humor...i think?

So, some Canadian guy posts a question in the Perth Groups


Hey I'm looking for a job but don't have a working visa due to my old age!!!



Let me know if you have heard of good ones...Any ideas?

Check out the answers...


Geoff says:
 Prostitution pays pretty well I'm told. 
A guy I used to work with did male escort training at Langtrees in Perth. 
http://www.langtrees.com/agencies/4/show_profiles
It could be a good opportunity to earn some quick cash while you're here.
Hope this helps.

The fish 101 says: 
Actually Geoff, I believe that Langtrees would be heavily monitored by the authorities. So might not be the best place to work illegally.
Of course there are more discreet places of negotiable affection that might not attract as much attention from the authorities. The West Australian listed a few of these in their Inside cover last week.
Barring that, there is also the "personal" ads.
There is also the possibility of being a drug mule. Sure the police have caught lots of people smuggling drugs in and out of Indonesia. But that just means that there are so many more openings in the "industry".

Catherine G says:
haha.. Are u guys serious?
I think it is safer to be masseur 
Trevor says:
I suggest going to a couchsurfing party and aquiring second hand sleeping bags. I hear its pretty big business these days.
 The Fish 101 says:
Nah, there is no market for the second hand sleeping bags.
You would make more money recycling all the cans and glass bottles after a CS party.



Or maybe renting out sleeping bags to those sleep deprived.

Geoff says:
Hmmm, geee, I don't know about these "discreet" places. I'm no journalism major, but if the West Australian published them on their "Inside Cover", these places probably wouldn't be that discreet anymore.
When I was in London a few months ago, I was approached by a prostitute as I left a club on one of the back streets of Soho. Mainly interested in checking the rate of exchange, I assure you, I asked: "How much?"
"It'll cost ya twenty quid" replied the tart.
"American Express?" I inquired.
She gave me an appraising look and said: "You can go as fast as you like" 
Remember; Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.


 Mila says:
You may be able to try and work at one of the markets. I use to have a mate who worked at the wanneroo markets, was pretty dodgy as she got stiffed on her pay. But it's cash in hand, and pretty sure the people who work there dont care whether or not you have a visa.



Or you could try male prostitution or become a stripper. I'm sure strippers at Collars and Cuff are in demand.

Very impressive Perth, great advice to the struggling traveller. 


And the conversation went on......

Perthamy says:
Obviously when they beat your pants off, you lost your memory as well as your dignity.

Thefish says:
I am proud to say Amy, I managed to retain both my pants and my dignity that night.
My memory though... well that is another matter. And may be more due to that German beer that might have been consumed that evening. 
Stefano (the guy that posed the original question said)
eheh quite funny posts to read!Tobie i would recommend to try cash in hand jobs such as waiter or kitchen hand.. you might find some farm who can pay you cash and don't worry about forms.
Obviously if you dont wanna try your luck in gigolo career at langtrees
Catherine G says:
Tobie, try doing home tution, if u don't want to be gigolo or stripper.
Although the drag queen idea is not bad at all :p

Thefish says:

Catherine, you say that home tuition can't be done by a gigilo or a stripper.
There might be a market for home tuition for men to learn how to strip for their wives/partners/significant (or insignificant) others. 
Catherine G says:
Good idea Daniel! Are you going in that direction after you become unemployed? :P Do you need an agent? haha..
Steve says:
Just saw Ara's suggestion regarding tutoring...so that would be two reasonable comments...

Catherine says:
Arriving in a foreign country and then publicly flaunting that you're going to break the law and work (AND THEN asking for help!!) = unreasonable comments. Simple as that.

Steve says:
If someone is on holiday and they're looking for work it's likely because they need money to continue to travel. They probably need lectures less than they need assistance.

Couch surfing is an international community of people associating with and sometimes helping one another. We should be true to that spirit and, rather than engage in ridicule, do as two good couch surfers have done here namely be actually helpful! 

Simple as THAT!!

SPYRO says:
Being helpful is one thing, helping illegal activities openly in a public forum is something else altogether.


Bruno says:
When did we reach the point when working or looking for a job has become something illegal and a person looking for a job is treated as a criminal?

I mean he's not stealing anything, he's not causing any harm to anyone whatsoever, not directly nor indirectly.

We should stand on the people's side, and stop supporting the interests of governments and corporations.

At least on such a basic thing as the right to work.





Steve says (i'm beginning to like Steve)

It wasn't against the law in this part of the world to hunt indigenous Australians as recently as 50 years ago. Some laws are stupid and some things which aren't against the law should be.
It's not like the cash-in-hand jobs our Couch Surfer brothers and sisters take are keeping Australians out of work. The vast majority of those are jobs Aussies don't want.
But let's look at it from the point of officious people who appoint themselves the arbiter of what is right regarding employment, or water consumption, or where to park one's van over night. You feel a need to do that, fine. But it doesn't have to be done in as ham-handed a manner as I see too frequently in this group's posts.
Consider how Tobie got the message above. Now consider the following wording:
"Couch surfers will find Perth to be a wonderful, friendly place. May we suggest, however, that a public forum is not the best place to request this sort of post. In any case, here's looking forward to seeing you, Tobie, at the next meet-up which, by the way, is at the Brass Monkey on Wednesday, March 16."
Maybe if we had expressed ourselves in a kinder fashion one of the 28 responses to Tobie's post would have been a 'thank you' for our helpfulness!

Also, I've been told I got it wrong about when it became illegal to hunt aboriginals. My bad.
SPYRO says
I was just saying the place he posted it was the wrong place. Had he brought it up in person in parties I think that would have been fine. My thoughts are that in a public forum where anyone can read these posts including the people who enforce these ridiculous rules. I think we should be allowed to work and live wherever we want and anyone should be allowed to go anywhere. That is what I live by, but flaunting the conventions of society is silly. 
People have lost endorsements for things like posting pictures of themselves smoking a bong, (read Michael Phelps). Some been kicked out of universities for pictures on their Facebook pages of them drinking alcohol while underage (read American age rules). I am not saying I agree with the rules, just don't make it so easy to be caught for Christ's sake. Deportation is something nobody should go through.
Tobie says:
What a debate I created! I honestly did not expect any true answers and wanted to see what people's reactions would be and I think it realy worked!!! I will see you all on wednesday though and we can continue this debate live. It's realy interesting to have people's opinion on the subject. I agree that sometimes laws are ridiculous and that this forum would definetly be the wrong place to post such a request... I hope I didn't offend you all too much and haven't ruined my CS reputation along the way.
Cheers all! 
Steve Pattenden says:
Steve, are you being serious? Working illegally to hunting people, bit of a difference. It doesnt matter if you think a law is stupid, it is still the law, if you break it, you should be punished. If you are coming to Perth to travel, save your pennies and then come and travel. If you want to work to support your travels, get a WHV, "simple as that"
 Bruno says:

We cannot accept any law they decide to impose us just because "it's still the law", we are not obedient sheep anymore. 
and this is Australia, it's not Nazi Germany, we can't keep quiet and follow blindly the dictator in turn or whoever decides to call themselves leader on whatever they decides to do with our lives, with our liberty and with our planet. 
we have to stop the auto-pilot for a minute and think rationally, critically and objectively about the laws we come across every day. 
and a law that doesn't allow people to work on the basis of racism and classicism its clearly not bringing us together as human beings and just putting more barriers between us and it's not doing much for the freedom we've been fighting for during the last 100 years.

Perthany says:

Oh Bruno come on! You'tre a lovely guy but comparing Nazi Germany to a country for instigating work permits is utterly ridiculous. You need to "stop and think rationally, critically and objectively" about your own post. 
Whether you believe in them or not, you DO NOT come to someone else's country and break the laws. 
"a law that doesn't allow people to work on the basis of racism and classicism" 
Actually the classifaction for skilled work visas is English language, qualifications, nominated occupation, work experience, skills, health, character. 
The classification for WHV is that their country has a reciprocal agreement with Australia which is based on economic agreements between governments. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Pretty fair I think.
There are no dictators here mate... yes some pretty pedantic laws, and way too many traffic lights, but I'll take them over anarchy or open borders any day.
I can't imagone anything worse than having this argument with people that think it's ok to travel around doing whatever they want. Count me OUT on Wednesday. I'll be the one conversing with respectful and interesting surfers who have either saved up for their trip or aren't flaunting their under-the-table activities to upset anyone. It's not the 'working' that's the problem here - it's the attitude towards my country's laws. 

Bruno says:
Hey Amy :)
I seriously didn't mean to offend you, so please don't take it personal.
This is my country also, even though i dont have a paper that says i'm australian, i live and work here, i pay taxes, contribute daily to the society and the economy and my life is not very different to any other australian. 
So as an Australian and i want to make this place a better place in the same sense that I'm not gonna waste water, I'm not gonna get a car, I'm not gonna litter; I'm going to advocate for human rights same as I will do it anywhere else.
You just cannot refuse a person the right to work, because he has been born in the wrong country or is one year too old.
Whether they are australians, canadians or north koreans, they are still human beings and they should have the right to work honestly without being chased down or prosecuted for it. Compassion, peaceful actions and civil disobedience(such as work "illegally") are the tools we have now to make this world a fairer place for everyone. And i think it's clear that this doesn't mean that the country will turn into an anarchy because people work honestly.
We can't choose where we are born, and if there were no borders we will all be equal and wont be having this discussion right now. 
When a country opens their doors as Australia is doing it now, they also open their minds to new ideas and to change.
I wouldn't post this on a wall street forum, but couchsurfers usually have a great sense of community and equality.
There is a clear left-wing vs right-wing debate here, but someone having a different opinion than yours doesn't mean they are not respectful or not interesting, it should be the other way around, by listening to different points of view and different arguments we learn and that's how we grow. 
The world would be very dull if we all agreed we each other always and no one had a different opinion than yours.
So I'm going to have to ask you to come to the meeting on wednesday and give me a hug~ would that be ok? 

Stefan says:
I would love to see how you feel bruno when we open our doors and our borders and we drop in another 300,000 people into perth who:
1: have nowhere to live because we are in a housing shortage.
2: can't afford to eat because food is so expensive, and lets not forget we are already in a water shortage before we have all the extras to feed.
3: are unskilled or have low skill levels because lets face it their life in their home country wasn't so great so they are happy to take any chance to get out.
4: when your son or daughter or younger brother or sister is struggling to find a job because we have 200,000 extra people competing for them.
Well then we can call ourselves England as that is exactly the same sort of problems they have and exactly the reason they have closed their borders to immigration from newer countries which have joined the EU. We only have so many resources to go around.
So if it's limiting those who want to work to those who can be productive and meet a criterea whereby they can do something useful then i for one am all for it. Let them work honestly within the legal framework which australia......along with just about every country in the world provide.I am unable to get a working visa for europe for the same reason as i am too old but i can live with that too.  

Castadrift says: 

Wow its been really fascinating reading this thread. Adding my 2 cents - actually I'm kinda surprised that people from Australia, and on Couchsurfers at that, have voiced such conservative views. Not that I think you're wrong, but just that I've had this impression that the whole concept of CS encouraged a more liberal stance (though thinking about it I suppose there's no reason it should). I've been living in Singapore for the past 5 months (paying Australian taxes on an expat salary) and can't wait to move back to Perth soon to a place where people have the right to publicly share their opinions and ideas without fear of prosecution. I just feel so lucky to call Australia home, where we are born into privilege, have a right to education, and can freely engage in political debate.
Feel disheartened though that one guys request for help (whether it was wise or not to do it publicly, and it is his personal decision & responsibility whether or not to break the law) has turned into a political debate which has obviously caused people so much personal offence! 
In any case, I think you would be hard pressed to find an Australian who hadn't at some point in their lives worked a cash in hand job (tutoring, waitering, etc) esp in high school or uni. This to me is just as illegal as a backpacker coming to Aus to do the same thing. Whether I agree with this kind of action is not my point at all.
@Amy - I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you will not let this stop you from meeting people who, though might have a difference of opinion, sound like nice and respectful folks, to rationally debate your point of view. It would be such a pity to have a rift in the CS community caused by petty politics :(
Whatever happens I'm looking forward to moving back to Aus and meeting everyone! I've only become active on CS recently and am really excited to be part of such an open-minded and tolerant network of people.

Allen says:

Hi castadrift 
.Yea this post has become a real debate of right and wrong and there is some nastiness in there . Although it is illegal etc Tobie did not know that it would create such a heated debate .We all know that there are many people in this country working illegally and just lucky they have not YET been caught. 
Tobie just happens to be a tad over the age limit for a work visa... pity . He is a great actor and I mean in the positive sense . He is staying at my place and is a nice guy ....smokes to much thou ....He has visited WAAPA to register his interest in gaining a sponsor to enable him to work here in Perth .
Yes we here in Australia are very blessed to live in a place with such freedom and opportunities for a better life .I do believe people should enter the counrty thru the right channels thou . Tobie did that but was just seeking advice or help on been able to work here .Nothing sinsister .
Thanks for your positve and interesting post .
Cheers 
Allan 

More crazy (but funny) ramblings from the Perth CS people

Tobie says:
Steffan makes me sound like a poor unskilled guy from a third world country. If I get sponsored, then I will work and it will be because I can do the work better than any aussie. If not, I will respect the fact that people here need jobs and wouldn't take it away from them.
Steffan says:
My comment was not a reflection upon you Tobie. It was in response to Bruno. I was making the point that one or 2 or even 100 people working 'honestly' or without a visa is one think but when you open the floodgate (as England did a number of years ago) it's a different story. 
Castadrift says:

@Allan - for the record I don't think this is a debate of right and wrong at all! it is a debate of politics and legalities - both of which have very little association with morality.
:)

 Bruno says:

Hey Steffan, I'm sorry but it seems like i'm going to have to hug you too tomorrow. anyone else wants a hug?
I am very aware of the housing, inflation, unemployment problems and the water shortage situation. But this are all dragons we can vanquish.
And in order to do so, and in order to solve most of the problems in the world the first thing we need is a can-do positive attitude, instead of an "everything's wrong let's just blame the immigrants" attitude.
We have the ideas, we have the people, we have the technology and we have the resources to do it. 
Tesla invented renewable, unlimited energy, we have learned to produce geothermal energy, we have learned to purify ocean water through desalination and reverse osmosis processes, we are learning to effectively take advantage of collective farming, nanotechnology and automation which will reduce the labor force required, also the dalai lama proposed some years ago to demilitarize the world. If instead of spending billions of dollars in killing each other we could spend it in science and human development there is absolutely no limit to what we can achieve. And this are just a few examples of the things we can achieve if only we start believing we can.
This may sound too idealistic, but its not at all. We saw it yesterday at the free hugs campaign, there is just so much love in people just waiting to get out. And we see it every day through you guys opening your hearts and houses for people who need a place to sleep, without expecting anything in exchange. So why not opening your country also for people who need it?~~
btw it may sound like it, but i dont belong to any political, religious or whatever association trying to brainwash people for their own personal interests :P

The fish says:

Bruno Bruno Bruno
Look what you have made me do. I was more than happy to let this debate continue (as long as there were no personal attacks on each other but rather was about the issue). But if there is one thing I can't stand, it is wrong science.
Nicola Tesla never invented renewable unlimited energy. If he had, why would we not be using it now?
Rather he is the man who developed alternating current (AC to the DC) and wireless power exchange (which is has a long history complete with greed, double crossing and so much politics) 
Ok with that aside, back to the discussion/debate about the rights and wrongs of working in a country with/without a visa. 

Spyro says:
Nicola Tesla also invented a way to reproduce Wolverine, why have we not taken advantage of that. Anything you may ever want to know about Tesla, go to Cracked.com and thank me later for the addiction. 

Perthamy says:
My thoughts exactly Selena.
Actually, it makes more sense that Perth CS hosts would have these opinions as we are the one's who are dealing with these issues on an everyday basis.
I get a request from a WHV maker EVERY, SINGLE, DAY looking for free accommodation because they have left their country (where there's no jobs) to look for work here, and often without appropriate savings. In the beginning of last year I was hosting for a couple of months until I realised that people were here to work - not necessarily to explore Perth or spend money doing touristy things. Now I only host tourists and am having a great time with CS again. My surfers since then are some of the best friends I've ever had, not because they are better or worse people, just that we have more in common at the moment cause we are all on the adventure/travelling page :) 

This post has simply become a group of ideas and opinions expressed - that is what a forum is all about. It's not about Toby anymore and wasn't after the second response from Spyro. For my part, it's about the lack of respect for Perth and sometimes CS by vast numbers of WHV makers that are here to make money. It amazes me that I can't say that without offending people. If you are a WHV maker and you don't act this way - there's no way you would be offended cause it's not about you. Just because I wrote my opinion doesn't make me disrespectful, nasty and especially not left wing conservative!!! (That really made me lol - I'll remember that next time I'm organising an environmental protest or once again, applying for a job working with newly arrived immigrants to Perth).
I think Toby and the guy sleeping in his car are just the tip of a rumbling volcano in CS. 
Most of the most dedicated Perth CS hosts I know have switched their profiles to only "coffee or a drink" this year. It's a real shame.
I'd love to give you a hug Bruno, but it doesn't mean that I'm going to believe you'd be in this country if you also weren't earning money. Totally generalising I know, but most people are here for money - they are not here because they want to add to the society, make Australia "a better place" or anything else that doesn't suit them (they like travelling here etc). 
I live in the real world… and guess what, after travelling and working extensively for 8 years in 6 countries I was FORCED to come back to Perth when I turned 31 because there were no more visas I could apply for. Even though I was devastated, I accepted that. Anyone that knows anything about me knows that I have a very serious sense of justice and what's right. Just as I believe children shouldn't go hungry or women should be afforded and education - I also believe in respecting the law of each country. Hey, that's just me.
I also totally believe in the WHV program and encourage it for everyone. It totally changed my life for the better. I welcome everyone in Perth who wants to work on a visa… as long as they respect our laws. That doesn't make me a conservative, it simply means I believe in respect. Yes I complain about dumb speed limits and sky rocketing alcohol taxes and other such things, but I don't question "why?" at every law - I am humble enough to know that there are laws for reasons I don't necessarily understand. I respect that there are people in the police and court system doing their best to keep order in our society ticking along. 
Selena there is no "rift in the CS community caused by petty politics". There is a difference of opinion, that's all. I'm certainly not going to throw away 3 years of active CS membership because someone thinks differently to me - that's the number one reason I participate in CS and have had a lot of my thoughts changed and shifted, as well as offered thoughts to other people from my own experience! 
Surely I'm allowed to say that I don't want to be part of a debate or argument at a CS meetup aren't I? That's not what I go along for and after a long day at work, like I said, I can't think of anything worse! 
So again I will decline the offer of arguing this any further at the meetup. I am there simply to have nice conversation and introduce my surfer to the Perth community.
If you want to break the law Tobie, you can talk with with the immigration police about it, not me :) 

Ben and Carman say:
Holy crap! I have really got to stop jaywalking :p
http://www.geelongadvertiser.com.au/article/2010/03/11/153841_news.html 
apologies for the double post (came up wih the CS *whoa everyone tried to surf at once*)...but it did give me time to find that article about the real criminals of australia :D

I say:
And thats whats been posted so far, from a guy that wanted a cash in had job, in Perth !!!!

Friday, 4 March 2011

Stuff no one told me, but now i'm telling yea'll!!

This is my favorite of the lot you are about to see


I found this cartoon artist a while back and while i was on of my usual 'Cull' boring and uninteresting people from my fail book, i had a look at his cartoons, and he's good, really good indeed.


So here you go, point your mices at his and take a look see for yourself

I thought i'd stick a few of them here, for myself, in 10 years time

p.s.
If there is some copyright thing, issue i can take them off, yadda yadda yeah, and so and so forth, i'm trying to be good and being an adult, while it has it's' benifits, you have to do all the things you dont want to do, eat all the things you dont want to eat, say all the things you dont want to say, drink all the things you dont want to drink, make love to.......

Nope, that's about it, no on with the show, no more words, sometimes they just dont anything, i will let these pictures do all the talking, they are from a collection called



Stuff no one told me, but now i know by Alex

















Thursday, 3 March 2011

Ducky and me

Not Steve's Duck, but very alike indeed! 


Now, i don't know why i didn't take a picture of Couch surfer Steve Sertis duck, yes i said 'Duck', now 'on mature recollection' (That's a phrase Irish Politicians used to use quite often when cross questioned in court) ......ok.

Let me explain, Steve had a friend that had a duck, the duck went from home to home, since Steve isn't a big fan of the heat and doesn't go outside when he's at home, the duck gets the outside, he's got he inside, sounds fair doesn't it?
And it's pretty big, for one duck, he rules the roost, or what ever ducks do when they are in charge?

It's seems like a kinda relationship that works well, there are plenty of mosquito's all because of the duck's pool and the like, but there's fly screens, so there is no problem and Ducky's fed too, not bad, eh?

Trouble brewing?

Now, i was going to sleep one night and i swear the duck was outside the fly screen looking in at me shaking his tail and shaking his head as if to say
'Hey buddy, what are you doing in there, your not supposed to be in there!!'
You see in was dark outside and i saw the silhouette of a duck (i might have thought i was going mad, before going to bed and it was early too, only about 10pm) actually i might have been going mad, which seemed to focus my attention all the more clearer, on the duck (now i'm beginning to think i'm mad!)

So clear was my focus in fact, i came to the fly screen, to look down at a duck, looking up at me?

Did Ducky even know it was a duck? I was beginning to think it might think it was dog.

Was i dreaming that i was a duck, looking up at me? Or was i looking at the duck looking at me

But, all i wanted to do was sleep, i guess i wasn't in  much of a duck mood, at the time, the time being 10pm, now that mad!!
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